my little princess of incest i must decline respectfully
understand i regret my lack of desire especially sexually
i fail to recognize why you seem to be obssessing see
when we both know my situation both abroad and domestically
yet you press against me even as i draw back in revulsion
my horror is apparent but you play unaware of my emotion
as if afflicted by some evil spell of unforseen devotion
LOOK i said NO! hard to believe we shared a former relationship
when right now you are eating away at my infinite patience bitch
your not so subtle and sly sentences resemble a simple stitch
a thorn in my side causing pain at every turn tumble and pitch
my philanthropic duties are undeniably permitted
to fail to recognize your standing of faith tightly fitted
see you broke my heart and tore apart the last thing i held dear
and as a farce you hope to mark your place whispering in my ear?
sorry not today in this place i recuse myself to steer clear
your wrath is not something i have the capacity to fear
take a seat in that chair and fill your pretty head with cheer
because all that rage and lust for me will never walk out of here
close your heart, i'm dead to you forever gone from this vestibule
isn't your husband of 3 years expecting you?
we have nothing this is over now why can't i get the best of you
will i ponder this equation when there is nothing left to rue
the time for question and pity is over no more warm shoulder
no more moving mountains turning stones to boulders
my heart has grown much colder while your lust has grown bolder
this battle may be the last i'll be fit to soldier
i push away to take away the pain you felt to real to say
and here on this very bright and sunny september day
i left you in a pool of tears bright and glistening in sunlights play
i hope i showed you the path to walk gave you the words to say
and gone is the love for you the desire is now at bay
freedom sings rejoices rings and let the tears fall where they may

the last chapter is coming soon...........

my little princess of incest i must decline respectfully
understand i regret my lack of desire especially sexually
i fail to recognize why you seem to be obssessing see
when we both know my situation both abroad and domestically
yet you press against me even as i draw back in revulsion
my horror is apparent but you play unaware of my emotion
as if afflicted by some evil spell of unforseen devotion
LOOK i said NO! hard to believe we shared a former relationship
when right now you are eating away at my infinite patience bitch

~very nice all the way through here...great rhyme
scheme before I think you slowed down for a minute..
great lines homie for a great song...could definately
outshine any guest on this...~

youll get the best of her when your on...and shell
realize her mistakes and wish she could turn time
back wishin you were in her place...cause youll be
on someday rhyming like this here....

the rest besides the section I quoted was good as
well just slowed down a tad.....your still gassin em
though....well done....smart idea of doing things like
this because most people wouldnt read it all..
definately the makings of a worth hearing song...

girls..they gotta union....
well never know how they think....
I wouldnt want to ever know....
I would like to look and see if the light
bulbs on though...they flicker every now and then...

this was good shit..thats all im trying to say...
if anyone cant relate they're stupid....

please lemme know what u think of mi song...

la paz

fuckin sleepers pass on overlooked undeniable talent
once again....give a man his damn props if he takes
the time to show yours....thats why posts get edited

just angry man..sorry..you deserve a lot more than
just my words for your lyrics that you really didnt
have to post on here but did anyway..for feedback...

oh my freaking GOSH I HAVE TO GIVE THIS THE UPMOST RESPECT

my little princess of incest i must decline respectfully
understand i regret my lack of desire especially sexually
^ tha tmade me think you were speakin to a daughter born of incest and that the beauty in her you found so appealing but just extremely sexual
that line gave a gret intro to your peice and i found it to be so beautifuly written


when right now you are eating away at my infinite patience bitch
your not so subtle and sly sentences resemble a simple stitch


^ this shows your frustration with her and how you can overpower her but
it made me think that she still has a grasp on you
perhaps emotionally or phsically?


take a seat in that chair and fill your pretty head with cheer
because all that rage and lust for me will never walk out of here
THAT WAS THE BEST part for sure
because your downing her by her beauty as if sh eis ignorance yet your making it seem that she can never escape from your wrath that she will forever be yours and that you own her


and here on this very bright and sunny september day
i left you in a pool of tears bright and glistening in sunlights play
^
it seems to me liek you really went through this
the way you described those lines
that perhaps *she* is real
but not as you put her into this story
there had to be some insperation
as for the pool of tears it seems that to me that is where she still remains

very beautiful peice THIS was wonderful
hazy

three replies? i must be slipping.......upping for christs sake....

sorry dun im not sleepin....this shit woke a nigga up....drop me a link to he parts im missin this shit got me interested...love the pattern....the subject.....flow.....every damn thang bout it.....send me the paeices im missin so i can read them shits too......stay up an breathe easy -shi-

upping again......i reply....please PLEASE PLEASE return the favor

This is deep. It drew me in deeper as i read and I needed to read on. The way it was written and the flow and just everything. Keep this up, you of all people have caught my attension more with your poems and they all make me think, everytime i read. Much respect to you. JT

Prophitt~
You definately are not slipping! I am, however..It took me way to long to reply to this, sorry I didnt see it sooner...But you slipping, no..You are getting better, if possible..

"my little princess of incest i must decline respectfully
understand i regret my lack of desire especially sexually
i fail to recognize why you seem to be obssessing see
when we both know my situation both abroad and domestically"

I havent seen such impeccable flow in a loooong time...Especially in this forum..Lots of people will argue that poetry doesn't even need to rhyme, but I personally, love it when a piece can be filled with multi's and bounce, yet still harbor that same power in its message...Just like these first 4 lines..Amazingly well worded..Really drew me into the piece.

"yet you press against me even as i draw back in revulsion
my horror is apparent but you play unaware of my emotion
as if afflicted by some evil spell of unforseen devotion
LOOK i said NO! hard to believe we shared a former relationship
when right now you are eating away at my infinite patience bitch"

And you keep up the perfect rhythem...Only the imagery is growing increasingly more intense...This kind of reminded me of that movie "Lolita", though it's not quite like it...(If you havent seen it..don't..its very disturbing..'princess of incest' suits it very well)

"your not so subtle and sly sentences resemble a simple stitch
a thorn in my side causing pain at every turn tumble and pitch
my philanthropic duties are undeniably permitted
to fail to recognize your standing of faith tightly fitted"

Once again, incredibly well worded...just flawless.

"the time for question and pity is over no more warm shoulder
no more moving mountains turning stones to boulders
my heart has grown much colder while your lust has grown bolder
this battle may be the last i'll be fit to soldier"

wow...very powerful bit right there...

"i left you in a pool of tears bright and glistening in sunlights play
i hope i showed you the path to walk gave you the words to say
and gone is the love for you the desire is now at bay
freedom sings rejoices rings and let the tears fall where they may"

PERFECT ending...I absolutley loved the last line..kind of saying "i dont give a fuck", only in much nicer wording..

Anyway, this piece as a whole was incredibly captivating...Youre writing style is what I really love..I could pick your piece out of 30 anonymous ones..simply by the way the words rolled off my tongue when I read it....You are one of the few in this forum who is a garunteed good read every time.
You're madd talented..Quickly becoming one of my favorite poets on here....Lookin forward to part 3....
Pz n propz.

hmmmm......is this section going to hell.....why are these pieces sticky's and what happened to rhetorical insights?

someone get to me..im about to close these...

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

im putting these pieces unstuck for the time being....someone get to me on this...

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Why close it?
Its not mine or Pro's fault some mystery mod made our pieces 'sticky's....

im not putting anyone at fault...much respect to both pieces....Whoever did it shouldnt have.....and i fixed it...

-1-

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Yeah, i had to un-sticky about 4 pieces. There were around 6 altogether.

The place is still going well. You have these periods of slowness.

I'll be more active soon. Had some stuff to do. It's just been a coincidience that all the mods have been a bit busy at the same time.