yo...
There goes the bell for third period
I start typn this, pretendin i aint hearin it
Its the truth i need school... but i need escape
Sleep extra hours to keep myself from being late
I ache from work some one pull me from this deathtrap
Im steadily runnin for my life saying "Can i make the next lap?"
80 percent of my life is wak... the other 20 is rap
Playin game with the devil.. this aint yahtzee its craps!
Watchn bills stack, in other peoples greedy hands
People aimed at my opinions like kids wit rubberbands
I cant stand this any longer, how much time do i have left?
i feel closer to death, with every single muffled step
my eyes are X'ed... im feeling dead tired im im typn
so that i might find hidden meanin of life, mind heightend
this world is built on hate due to fighting, war, and bloodshed
guys chasing girls becuase they dont get enough head
ruff thread i deliver a message at top speed
squezzn flows like a dirty wet cloth from scholotskys (where i work dont hate...)
tell me devil... tell me god when will i see the light?
in the heat of a battle or a fight? A make believe love life?
every turn i take... i feel its a turn to face a mistake
i guess you could say im a "runaway", a well used trait
one i dont use to this date... due to my rhymes of hate
i dont believe in fate, but it wont be the death of me
ive left the hate behind in search of new destiny...

i dont know might be wak... if so... i must be pretty tired. hit it up with the critizm!

i like your metaphor concepts they are will utilized throughout your verse....wordplay was there mad props...structure fell in a bar or 2 but real good...original consept.complexity was acquired to late in the verse but this was a great read stay up twin i'll be looking for more

not bad stuff, it was oK.........................................nice wordplasy...........props to ya................

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sigs are for herbs...Thats why I got one!

Very nice verse, LK...

I haven't sat in a class in literally, what...

20 years almost?

Shit...

But it brought back some old memories of feeling lost and only having music to turn to.

Fuck, I worked flippin burgers, sackin groceries, mowin yards...

I know all about bullshit jobs like yours, man...

And music, it seemed, was all a motherfucker had.

I really related ta ya "make believe love life" line...

I can remember wanting relationships with the hot girls in class, knowing I'd never get one, but imagining it...
Shit, even lying about bitches that were "out of town"...
That shit sucked.

But was life, and it betters with age...

Great verse, dude...

Peace

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Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T.
For my convenience, not yours!

ill shit god, nice wordplay, nice vocab, nice imagery, tight story, i hated school to but i eregret quittin, keep droppin tha hotness.~1~

that was pretty damn good especially for a newb, ur structure fell off a little in like one or two bars, but its all good, ur metas were there, i was feelin ur wordplay and vocab, and i agree wit u school sux, but whatever. keep at it homie u got mad talent.

peace.....

man... i appreciate all the feed back.. i ussualy get slept on.. but im glad i related to some of yall or even maybe brought back some old memories i hope to see yallz material and give an insight.. yall all keep it real and imma keep ELEVATIN! one.