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Old 10-08-03, 01:29 PM   #1
FanTa ZeE
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Drunken Rage (alcohol induced childhood)

IP: E31C 355F

I've known him since the first day of kindergarten,
But when i think back, i hardly know him at all,
I've never been round to his flat once for tea,
I've never seen inside those four walls.
We used to play at the park on a night time,
But then when the weather got colder,
I didnt see him for weeks on end,
Didnt see the burden on his shoulder.
When i was tucked up, fast asleep in my bed,
He was helping his Mom sober up,
'Recovering Alcoholic' was the mark she'd been branded with.
And she didnt really give a fuck,
For years she used to beat my friend senseless,
All the bruises he gained through the pain,
It was her, and her abusive temper,
That threw her only son out in the rain.
He told me he was on holiday in London,
That week she punched him in the face,
And that mark on his head where he'd 'knocked it'
Was when she dashed his skull on the stone fireplace.
He didnt have the heart to report her,
He thought it was withdrawl from drink,
It wasn't his fault, he was took for a ride.
But he loved her..so he didnt stop to think.
She hurt him so much for no reason at all,
Except for her own disgusting fantasies
How could he keep this secret for 25 years?
All the times that his Mom made him bleed.

Its no wonder she wasnt at the wedding,
Though he told me to phone to invite her.
And i dont find it strange when she was outside the pub,
When the wedding car drove past beside her.
This is our special day, and it will not get ruined,
By a woman who treat my husband like shit,
Lifes made for living,
And from this moment....
We will begin to start living it.


But why didnt he tell me what was going on until the day before we were married?
Perhaps he has love for the evil bitch still, even through all the hurt that hes carried.

hit this up and give me your replies and feed, just a quick poem.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84006

^^check this (nude pics of me in case any are interested in finding out what your ladys really like)
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Old 10-08-03, 02:22 PM   #2
HazY.B
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lmao @ you using nude pic ahahahahah
least i made it look good (j/p)

this was a sad poem yet its something i could picture watching on one of those HBO speacils you kno?
they always make the saddest family films

anyways i loved your intro gurl it was great

and your peice fell togehter so well

great job
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Old 10-08-03, 04:53 PM   #3
filed
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iight

this piece here was a sad piece, and full of emotion, which is good because it covered up some of your grammar mistakes, and in some parts a bit a lack in structer but thats not what this piece was for it was more for the raw emotion that was sent throu and that was awsome

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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Old 10-09-03, 12:50 PM   #4
FanTa ZeE
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hey thanks, check my battle in front lines pleez...cant miss it, it has 'Liba Dee v Da_Renegade' pleez.....

lol thanks for replying to my peice, and Hazy, i kinda stole the nude pics idea off you, but it seems to work for some people....
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Old 10-11-03, 02:17 AM   #5
Tourniquet
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Personal piece... I agree with filed, that the emotional value carried me over the small grammar and flow problems, all in all, there isnt too much to pick out of it though.

The ending is very good, I do think however that you should leave it at -

Lifes made for living,
And from this moment....
We will begin to start living it.

And forget the last 2 lines, if they are a part of the poem. That way, you are leaving the hurt behind, in a past life.. and now, building a new one together for a brighter future. I dont know, seems more power in that, instead of returning to past pains over and over in life... will never get ya moving forward

Nice read, and best wishes for you and your man
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