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10-20-03, 12:41 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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ALL that i see
IP: D991 2E2D
My thoughts are "premeditated",
im a street nigga plus "educated", im light but my problems are heavy "weighted",so im going back to the place i "originated", back to "square one", a little snot nosed kid with payless shoes i didnt want to "wear em" my moms had three baby fathers you could "compare em" all "abused her","confused her," "misused her", mentally and "physically" made it through my childhood "miserably" used my imagination to escape the misery. Seems like my life was a death "sentence", not only for me but all the project "tenants", to die was the only way for "independence" only way of escape,present generations blaming past for their mistake, we all just dozing zombies when will we awake, our future is at stake!!!! im prophecising on shit that niggas is idolizing beef is uprising got niggas in the street with they heat in the horizon whores on the corner with they little skirts running to cars full of muthafucing perverts little kids dope cooking, they 9s leave you shookin, if you dont give away its tookin, but anyway whos lookin, whos peepin,me the hood deacon, the beef is leakin, seems like bullets are heat seekin cause every night some one chest is filled with metal, broken stems on a rose pedal, the life we live everday in the ghetto |
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10-20-03, 01:28 PM | #2 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: 2729 BF63
I'm feeling you. If you don't mind I'll drop a line or two as well.
If necessity mothered invention, then the struggle gave birth to my hustle// I've felt the cold wind with no place to give rest to my muscles// I've felt the driving force, hunger sports, guiding my motives// Seen the world through younger eyes, somehow survived outta focus// My life relied on bogus pride, I tried living a soldier's life // Starting pitching at a young age thinking I was Nolan Ryan// Fast money convinced me that it was time to start holdig iron// Young fingers squeezing, before I learned to control the fire// I was a brash youth, until I learned to control my ire// Flipping on my block soldier's they playing with no desire// I wanted everything, and that's what i thought my money would buy// Spinning my wheels, watching my life pass me by// I tried to make a change, but that's like trying to harness the air// I'd rather smoke weed cause it seemed like it was harder to care// Chorus I used to, want that P, homie front that key// I want the world to sing, Oracleez run these streets// So if you looking for that good, I'm the nigga you should see// And if you come up in the hood, then I'm that nigga you could be// But now I, want to emcee, I want these beats// I want the world to sing, Oracleez run these streets// So if you wanna hear the real, I'm the nigga you should see// And if you come up in the hood, I'mthat nigga you could be//
__________________
The excellence of elocution |
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10-20-03, 02:40 PM | #3 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
This wasnt too bad...you should try to keep your lines around the same length for visual purposes and it helps the structure out...it flowed alright, but try adding some internals to help the flow out better...and try adding some more multies...vocab was good i thought..overall it was a alright drop...keep at it...and keep dropping.
and if you could leave some feedback.. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=86721 |
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