i die as you unintentionally stick a knife in my heart...i cry out to stop and forgive, but you dont want nor need my forgiveness...so i lay here, dead, in heaven with a spirit who still forgives you

shit was so happy wen it was, now that its not, i feel the pain you avoid...for i am the fool, not you, thats why you left me

i still love you, and always will

live your life, since i cant

__________________

i like it though it was blunt, i think one of the thinner defining lines between rap and poetry is being vague or being to the point and this was to the point but it was still good in my eyes, 1luv.

Personally, I think bluntness is just fine if it's elaborated enough to extrapolate some decency in it.

This peice specificly is just... well... no offense but it reeks of conventionallility. Which is to say, it's rather basice and conventional. Who knows, you might have an amazing poetic talent, but this wouldn't be an example. No hate though. It's just that's all I'm saying.

~Islam~

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.