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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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BANNED
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bad day
IP: 768B E72B
Why do we hurt ourselves, decieve ourselves
pain in me is driving me crazy, still hazy from the blunt i just smoked to relieve da pain, life is no joke its just one of them days i just wanna sit back and smoke look at all the good ive done and all the bad ive gotten my feelings forgotten by everyone i care for i look to god for guidence, i dont deserve no more no more hurt deep inside, just wanna hide somewhere this devil in me cant find da time to destroy me make her ignore me-what have i done? to deserve this hatered, these feelings i have are real its da deal, me and her to da end, but the end is here and i stand alone-all hope gone-praying to god-what went wrong, take another hit from da bong to relieve this stress its got me, its a test-will i pass, will i last only god knows, only god shows us tru love from above and thats what im looking for- anyone feel me outthere am i too different too much into my emotions my devotions to happiness to da goodness of life-its all one fight one dark night after another-this is my life, now you wonder why i stay high all da time-its to unwind from these things in me that bring me down its that sound of hope i keep, sound of faith i seek now i must dissappear from here-bout to go Smoke |
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Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
deep, gottah respect for that, specially if you being honest wit your words...
on concept it was nothing new... but it wasn't boring... Wordplay was kinda basic... and the flow could use more work... lengh-wise it was good... not too long, not too short... maybe it's just me, but if you had made it longer, it would have gotten a bit boring.... Keep dropping.... -1- |
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: F4E2 0C04
for a newb,...it was iiht. good wordplay an thoughts i think...keep trying to get imaginary an description an metas an such...keep it up peace
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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Word.
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IP: 76B1 9A60
Yeah i agree....this was pretty decent for a newb....it flowed ok, needs some work...you should try to make all your lines around the same length but it was alright...try internals to make the flow better...and some multies...but keep elevating...and keep dropping.
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BANNED
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IP: 9CF5 5009
im not a new b by da way
jus a new name |
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BANNED: Cheater
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
put a lot of thought init, good word play and some good flow, im a newb myself, big up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEACE |
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Banned for being stupid
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IP: 95C5 EAD6
that was pretty good for a newb.....love how much thought u put into it, really shines in the post........ur vocab and wordplay was ok, try and elevate some more.......and ur content and topic was a little played, try and work on that next time......overall not bad...keep at it....
peace........ |
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BANNED
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IP: A2F3 2C3A
^^werdness this has a lot of felin and for a newb was mad ill shit dawg so keep postin ur shit and i will respond
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BANNED
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IP: 9CF5 5009
fuckin hell im not a new b
n i thopught it waz pretty crappy myself i aint rapped ne thin for months plz stop fuckin callin me a newb |
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Guest
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IP: 103B C99E
pretty good for a newb....na just playin kid...
![]() anyways flow was ok, maybe could have used a few more multies and ish....vocab wasnt anything great...could use some upping...content wasnt bad...but not nothing great either...overall a decent drop, keep dropping though yo... also if you get a chance, peep my latest open mic and hit me up with some feedback... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=85644 |
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