now that im relaxed and tokin, this herb got me chokin, my fuel for flowin im smokin, no jokes-when, i steps on tha mic and it gets broken//

sometimes its too much shit ive dealt, these odd feelins ive felt, tha crack i smelt and snow under my belt, tha heroin that melts, and tha sister with welps//

we gotta do whatever, tha change of tha weather, my brain itll sever, your main shit endeavor, the worlds floatin in a toilet dont make me pull tha lever//

watch it disinitigrate, incinirate my fate, realize ive been-in-hate, as sin-its-late//

atleast too late to turn-back, tryin to look over these fiends who burn-crack, strivin to churn-tracks, learn-facts, and all tha while ill earn-stacks, wit business that dont concern-macs//

no innocent lives lost, tha cost of a tennant as a fine boss, apartment managers pussy get tossed, my cum she sloshed, said dont worry bout tha rent while rubbin my crotch//

what vulgar times we reside, why defy tha truth and try to hide, hopin theyll let a little chronic smoke slide, so i can get lifted off these spliffs i twisted and get on tha mic and glide//

pretty much just blinded by lust, hopin for tha chance to lick and then touch, thrust till i bust, you say disgust but u know its a must, ill try not to fuss//

pretty much what im tryin to say is tha life i see my self in is filled wit odd things, strivin for cream and a house thats serene, give my girl tha ring, but all i along i feel im just livin a dream...

yo son this was hot and im glad i get to be the first to crit....
opening lacked needed more complexity.....
2nd bar was tight as shit.......
3rd you cluttered idead and i think some people might loose the depth os what you were saying....
watch it disinitigrate, incinirate my fate, realize ive been-in-hate, as sin-its-late//

atleast too late to turn-back, tryin to look over these fiends who burn-crack, strivin to churn-tracks, learn-facts, and all tha while ill earn-stacks, wit business that dont concern-macs//
had meaning but lost me seriously.

this post could of been much better but yo tackled multi subject and didnt go in depth in any of them your style makes this hot but your words make this confusing and forced.

stay up i know you can do better

yo.. ur flow was on point though the topic lingered around to quikly somtimes i lost meaning.. vocab is clean and metas were nice.. i felt it the whole way through but like i was sayin i was lost at a point still homie its an overall nice piece id give it 7/10 but on the real my fav line was..
--------------=================================----------
what vulgar times we reside, why defy tha truth and try to hide, hopin theyll let a little chronic smoke slide, so i can get lifted off these spliffs i twisted and get on tha mic and glide//
--------------=================================----------

damn nigga.. ya must have ate ur bowl of weedies this morn..keep it real and keep droppn bro.. one.

thanks for tha replies, this piece was mainly a vent but it came out in two parts for some reason,i dont know why, this definitly wasnt my best piece,but it was a piece never tha less.~1~

uppin~1~

=/

done freepost on my shit, thats how u get banned bitch.~1~

uppin^^