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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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TTI: Mute Life
IP: A9A7 727D
Sometimes The Noises Stand Poised On The Edge Of The Cliff
And It Annoys Us More And More With Every Single Vocal Riff So The Tv Changer In My Pocket Trembles In Locked Anticipation As The Sounds Crashing Down Acts As Frowns Of Precipitation The Crowns Of Abbreiviation Lie On The Heads Of The Ignorant When The Tumor Is Malignant, They Feel The Need To Signal It With Flashing Neon Lights, Slashing Out At Anyone Who Fights For The Rights Of The The Terrorists Who Suffer From Stage Fright Draw My Many Buttoned Pistol,Point It Straight At The Wet Whistle It Won't Close And Stop Shreikin About Their Saints And Epistles Exerting Pressure On The Switch, And A Switch Indeed Occured Not A Snitched Snatch Of Speach (Read: Nobody Said A Word) You Wonder Why Everyone Silenced Their Cries All Of A Sudden As I Wander On Down The Hall, My Finger Still On The Mute Button *click*
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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Banned 4 biting
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
Dope..
Work on vocab and metties,if you'd be so kind.Drop feed on my open mic Running the game and Goodfight goodnight |
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ShO-Nuff. Fuckers
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IP: C1DA C961
damn man the way u word stuff .....just dope....
the subject was kinda cool..like the way u made a little thing into a big thing..u know what i mean........Props
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MerK SquAd. <center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center> |
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-Real Time-
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IP: FA73 9713
Best Peice, That I've Seen From You. Like Woah.
Great, Great Peice.. *Goes To Nominate* |
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: EE90 39CE
wow...that was dope
flowed good, vocab was ill, wordplay was creative as hell, that was hot, great read, peace
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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BANNED
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IP: ABE5 FC72
Ok, 'this was dope' replies donmt help anyone, so. .
Nice verse for the tourney, a little short to really get into / indepth with, you should of expanded it, made it longer and ran w. the topic a more. Its good that your using internals, but a lot were basic 1 or 2 syllable inners, you need to make them into 3 or 4 syllable multi's to make it dope, add some spice to it. Your flow was decent, although off in some areas, you seemed to sacrifice the flow for content / vocab, the long words at the end of the lines threw your flow off course in a lot of lines, imagery was decent, again, could of been better if you'd of extended this i felt, you had a few good lines in there, worded ok, nothing too quoteable, your transition needs A LOT of work, you drift from one idea to the other too quickly, its like you write two lines then go straight into a totally seperate idea, try finding ways to link them, you need at least 4 lines on the same subject to make it dope i actually liked this, im just tired of kids saying 'this was dope' =- that helps no one. this wasnt legendary, you've done better, IVE SEEN you do better, YOU KNOW you've done better it was good, i liked it, but yeah, you needed some real crit. = ) |
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Guest
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IP: 19AF 50C1
sometimes lengh effects the message i feel that happened here you fell short of an exqisit drop by sipplying am mediocore amount of info.
you exploi5t such talet on other drops i felt this had to be rushed cause ive read your previous and this is so generalized. |
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Guest
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IP: 763B ECE4
damn... this shit is hot son! the metas were so fuckn clean! it flowed almost flawless .... the topic was dope.. but i lost meaning in a few parts.. maybe my perception wasnt pickn up all the images though i caught alot of it.. definitly some dope peice.. a shortie but the best read of the day.. i give it a 9/10 keep droppn and much propz. one.
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IP: 4E29 CC21
up
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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