walls whisper nonsense thru cracked bricks mockery
go away!don't follow me i plea for the ground to swallow me
i'm a minority attacked by the tongue of gibberish
SHUT UP! im sick of this!i'll knife your speech in pillages
a bloody exhibitionist the mouth of illusions is cut loose
ha ha i've severed your noose!unraveled the knotted excuse
aurevoir torrents of abuse but wait the whispers echo again
nibbling at sanities strength before devouring receding sense
and its not only voices present but fears construed projection
left second guessing its hiding behind every corner im stripped of direction
my heads at mercys disgretion hollow from realities touch
eerily head fucked everyones trying to get me its atheist trust
im unstable theyve kicked the crutch the vortex of insanity opened
i clutch at straws so golden but they turn to ash manics dark tokens
i'm slipping in a downward motion into miseries pool of no hope
drowning from waters ghost im reaching for brains sunken boat
cranially groped hologram fears shiver my cold state of mind
bleak existence declines to keep me awake scared by those outside
horrors exit denied battalions of voices infiltrate patience
LEAVE ME ALONE!i'm sacred!but they continue i look for a matrix
but all i see is closed eye lids blinded by those haters out there
i'm suffocating IT'S SO UNFAIR!suffocating my head exhaled despair
i cradle myself so scared hoping the warmth will remove the demons
im aimlessly searching for reasons i try to barter for my credence
i cant weather storms from four seasons in a few days of living
a mushed brain ripped to ribbons whatever ive done i need to be forgiven!
cos i feel imprisoned and the cell grows smaller and shrinks
i can feel the bars pinch pressed against my faces opaque skin
parched thoughts need to drink i cant continue running on empty
my own hands talk weapons to tempt me but i have one last sentry
guarding fragilities overloaded sensory i struggle to my feet
vision obscured by echoes repeat i stumble along in creeps
numbed thinking complete with nightmares while im awake
u've got the wrong person Fate is this a test or mistake???
but i got a speechless taste dried blood stained mouth and cloth
i tried to again but movement was lost faint memories became embossed
i reached into jaws drop i couldnt taste my fingers red paint
in a switchblade of haste i'd longed for the agony to abate
but surealness hugged with a bears embrace squeezing last drops
then i realised what...had happened i cant talk its blocked
PLEASE PLEASE JUST STOP! leave my mind to rest its burdens grime
then...i suddenly saw the sign as i crossed the border

'Welcome to the capital Cul De Sac Ville in the State of Paranoia'

suffering had merely begun its warm up....

upper

YOU HAVE A POETS HEART AND MIND IN A GHETTO PERSONAS LIFE.INTERESTING WHEN I READ YOUR WORK I CAN SEE EACH OF THOSE ELEMENTS IN THE BODY OF RHYME.................................
IM CURIOS TO KNOW WHAT IS YOUR DRIVING FORCE IN THIS WHEN I SEE SO MUCH TALENT?
A GREAT PEACE AS I HAVE COME TO EXPECT FROM YOU AND WILL CONTINUE TO.

thanks man

3 ups one reply....not good

simply amazing vocab.....blew me away.....
great flow....nice sense of being the paraniod person....
played the part well.....in my opinion.....
the metiphores were sweet as well....
I liked the ground swallowin up line also......

overall wit such vocab i drop this as a 9.0/10......
^^amazingly enuff....made me bust out the ol' Webster'.....

Erm..

Well..

That Was Fuckin Awesome...Flow Was Hot...Vocab Was Hot...Imagery Was Sensational...Yes Sensational I Said!!

One Of The Best Pieces I Seen Of Ya Fgee...And There Have Been Alot...But Every Line On This Stood Out..

In Fact...After This Reply...I'm Nominating It For Legends..

Keep Droppin Them Fgee..

__________________
LLL LW Champ
<center>Soft Focus</center>

damn...that was tight.....vocab was hot..wordplay was crazy...flow was great...that was a very good drop...keep that up man..peace

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

unraveled the knotted excuse
aurevoir torrents of abuse but wait the whispers echo again

That part was great. .The imagery & descriptive text used was amazing. .I really thought that was a highlight. .
Your flow was on point aswell with constant inners which helped it flow nicely. .The topic was the type I felt would of been better on audio so you could put the emotion I gathered you had on it. .This was good. .Maybe try some more multis < But thats all. .Pz

i was actually thinking of writing something like this i just havent really got my thoughts together, just not as abstract as you did it. this has a unique style to it its kind of weird, but i was nice though.

it flowed pretty good when you read it but it seemed like your lines were kind of stretched, some lines had like 19-20 syallables, i was reading this to a instrumental and it was off beat alot because the lines are so streched out.

but you had a nice concept, and i wish i could hear it in audio cause you have a unique style so its kind of hard to pick up through text

[quote]

simply amazing vocab.....blew me away.....
great flow....nice sense of being the paraniod person....
played the part well.....in my opinion.....
the metiphores were sweet as well....


i agree w/ carson but also at first, i thought it was kinda wierd when i start reading it, but then when i knew what it was about i got into it

nice drop
8.3/10

get a few more veteran views...

i'll reply on yours if u give some more critique
appreciate it

^