(This peice is strange. Some parts it's humorous, some parts it's my heart pouring out like so much distilled menstual blood of the goddess, some parts it's confusing. And yet it's rather concise. Just read it all the way through. And at the end of each line, stop and pause. That's how it is ment to be read, otherwise the flow is all off and wack. So it's sorta like having to tap the turn table to get the beat right on track. Know what it is to which I am meaning?)

Goodbye, Hello

I give everything I got
Which is not what you want see?
I stay stone strong despite
All the times you would taunt me
I get back at bullys by masturbating and crying
Hopefully it'll be accelerating them dying
I fall in the warmth of the goddess
And yet I make my prayers to God
I believe in Yaweh, but Yaweh don't believe in me
Maybe he's Jehovah and he's just trying to be decieving me
Could Satan possibly be bringing relief to me
So I said hello to god, followed by "YOU FRAUD!"
How is your Jesus Christ hanging?

Goodbye. Hello.
Kitty kitty goodbye. Hello kitty.
Goodbye. Hello.
Kitty kitty goodbye. Hello kitty.

My existence needs consistence
Resistence is futile
No subsistence to this one sentence
Persistence is a lifestyle

Do demons dream of sodomized sheep?
Know what I mean? Or am I just a creep?
Into sadism? Necrophelia? Beastility?
It's futility when you're beating a dead horse
Of course, the mind works wonders
But I keep tripping I keep making blunders
Women fall at my feet, you'd think it's desire
But I am a creep! I'm just using this trip wire
Tell me please oh what is this crap?!
I'm a ninja turtle or a samurai cat
Cause I'm eating pizza and dancing to Ninja Rap
And you can't beat that with a baseball bat!
Oh wait, that's not pizza, that's cow oh... sheiße

Goodbye. Hello.
Kitty kitty goodbye. Hello kitty.
Goodbye. Hello.
Kitty kitty goodbye. Hello kitty.

My existence needs consistence
Resistence is futile
No subsistence to this one sentence
Persistence is a lifestyle

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

I get back at bullys by masturbating and crying
Hopefully it'll be accelerating them dying

wow the memories......

So I said hello to god, followed by "YOU FRAUD!"
How is your Jesus Christ hanging?


hmmmm...strong words man...bad words...this hurts....it struck me probably harder than intended....maybe not....honestly i'd like you to explain why you feel this way..****looks at the floor*** Weeps***turns cheek and reads on***

Hmm i read the rest but really i think the first verse was what had the deepest impact on me...Sorry mayne i dont think i can say much more....get to me on pm or explain here...thanks

-1-

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Good drop. First part was pretty slick. Felt the emotion coming from it, and had my attention for the most part. Then you came in with the "Kitty, Kitty" part, and that just threw me off. Second half of this peice was cool, but it seemed more laid back, more comical than the first half. Overall, good drop.

The mixture of personal realism with humourous surrealism (well kind of) is always effective with you. Some might say it hides some of your true emotions and thoughts. I don't think so. As in most humour there is truth. Especially in this type. Of course you have to dig a bit to find it. But it's there. I think it depends how you read it though. And of course if you know the readers past works also.

Jesus Christ hanging seemed to me as at least half a reference to people hanging religious symbols on their mirrors, necks and whatever else. From buddhas and christ on a cross to Ganesh and Judaen star thingy...It could also mean other things. That's why i say a half reference. The reference is split into two.


I get back at bullys by masturbating and crying
Hopefully it'll be accelerating them dying

^^Brilliant. With such simplicity depicting a kind of deep dark thoght pattern of a kid being bullied. withdraws within him/herself. Masturbates like it is a drug. That'll ease the anguish suffered. The link between the masturbation, crying and 'accelerating them dying' showing the muddled state this person is in. A symbolic representation as such. All conflicted...

Well i'll stop there. Mind aint working up to speed. So further psycho-babble and what not would flicker away into flakey solitude (er, don't ask..)....

...resp...

Oh dude... I am actually sincerly sorry for that. I do apologize. I really don't intend to offend people so much as I don't realize how offensive the stuff I say might be to people.

As for an explanation... well.. it's all interpretive. But my own interpretation wasn't ment to hurt anyone. It also was not ment to be used in the context of those two lines alone. But rather, one should include the five lines above it when reading.

I fall in the warmth of the goddess
~
I believe in a divine being, and I believe such a divine being is female. I don't expect anyone else to think this of course. But it comforts me. I never had a mother, an invisible gust of wind is about all I got.
~
And yet I make my prayers to God
~
It's habitual. I was told by everyone that either God exists, or God does not exist. I was always also told that God is a guy. Not a gal. So when I lay in bed I feel bad and I have no one to talk to and talking to myself becomes tiresome... I say "Hey, God. What's up?" Not even intentionally. It just comes out in my mind.
~
I believe in Yaweh, but Yaweh don't believe in me
~
I do believe in God. I also used to have a crack idea about the Bible. I never really ever finished it, but it was sort of a project in studying the bible. I didn't get really far, but I read a lot of the old testament. The old testament, God says his name is Yaweh. But that is the Judaic belief, not the Christian belief. What can I say? I write down the ten commandments and do my best to follow them, but I never read far enough to reach the book of Mathews. I mean, I read it, I just have yet to study it.
~
Maybe he's Jehovah and he's just trying to be decieving me
~
Or Jehovah. His name is either Yaweh, or Jehova. That is the problem with translations. I mean, the scribes were very very meticulous when translating it, but things do get confused.
~
Could Satan possibly be bringing relief to me
~
And just like I adhere to the Judaic beliefs of God first, so I do the same with Satan. I read in a few places that Satan isn't a person. Lucifer is, Beelzebub is, but Satan is not. Satan is an obstacle. Obstacles are not good. When I wrote this line I was thinking about things that impede my progression through life, and how much they bring me relief. Ciggarrettes... for example.
~
So I said hello to god, followed by "YOU FRAUD!"
How is your Jesus Christ hanging?
~

The bottom line... throughout all these lines... is that I don't feel the love. I mean, the idea of a motherly goddess up there watching over us is a heart warming idea... but I don't feel the love. And the Judaic God... well as one wise woman put it... "The Old Testemant, God is angry. New Testament, God loves us all." *shrugs*. She wasn't that far off either. I mean, God in the old testament did a lot of smiting. And I don't feel love in such a Yaweh. Nor when his name is translated into Jehova. And Satan... nope. I feel no love in Satan. And of course, the thing is that goddess, god, yaweh, jehova... it's the same person.

Jesus... well... Ok. In the line where I asked how he was hanging, I ment to have some humor in that. Jesus was crucified after all. When you get crucified... let us face it... there aint much to do but hang around...

But there was also a seriousness to that line too. When Jesus Christ was "hanging around", how was he? He wasn't in the best of moods. In fact... I distincly remember reading that he was crying out loud as he hung on the cross... "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?"

Which is to say... "My god, my god, why have you forsaken me?"

I guess what I was really trying to get across was sometimes I feel like saying "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?".

__________________

Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

Necro.. just wanted to let you know Ive studied most of this extensively, the origin of the Bible, Jahweh and even as far as how Moses ties into the Egyptian Kingdoms, mainly that of Akhenaton and his monotheistic beliefs... I read 4 different versions of the Bible, Old and New.. as my thesis was to disprove the text as scientific fact. Unfortunately, the university deemed the subject too controversial after my second draft assessment (4 months work) so I never completed it officially.
Anyway, my point.. if you are interested in any of this, let me know.. always an interesting conversation..

Your piece here is an interesting one..To me it spoke of the darker side of our innerselves, and our fall from grace.. The ever tempting darkness only few of us are willing to reach out and explore..
As always there is no critique needed regarding your writing style, but I am curious about the chorus.. maybe it is as it is for a little shock value alone, or perhaps to bring a little tenderness back to our minds as we read... I have no idea.. thats why I'm asking you lol The kitty lines intrigue me..

Id also like to offer how I personally percieved the line -


It's recieved quite a bit of discussion here.. but no on seems to have read it the way I did, which is probably a good thing... I read your piece the first time one line at a time, as you instructed.. and that line to me held Jesus Christ as a phallic symbol.. Obviously with the reference to hanging (even though Im a girl) but anyway...there was something sexual about it to me..made me think of those who percieve their own sexuality as
synonymous with Godliness.

Eh, I need some sleep.. As always, interesting read Necro, Thanks.

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Not offended by you Necro...i knew your beliefs somewhat from other pieces you've written...Ahh its good to know you are somewhat educated in the bible...many dont know much of anything and spew out babble...I see what your expressing and understand now...Isn't this life pathetic...me writing this just made me think that...haha but seriously...It is? So why do i get worried when im sick...or yern to live forever..i think its fear...

Quick question...Have you ever been ABSOLUTE with your faith...or are you now....I think through consequence it took the best of my 21 years of life to honestly say im absolute...tough thing to say....not directed only to Necro...maybe some input if not...its cool..

__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
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"My existence needs consistence
Resistence is futile
No subsistence to this one sentence
Persistence is a lifestyle"
one of the best lines i've heard while everyone stuck on the jesus line, i dont think it was offensive, just inserted to add to the feeling of the poem, keep dropping, 1luv.

In all realness, i liked this piece, real hot
strange but str8

"How is your Jesus Christ hanging?"
everything leading up to that line, for me, made your mentality clear..your view on the technicalities, confusions and misconceptions that live... emotionally you was also portrayed.. you made me (the reader) get a good sense of you all around
i like how that can be connected into topics you speak about in what you write


"Women fall at my feet, you'd think it's desire
But I am a creep! I'm just using this trip wire"
^ i liked this part right here, it was funny but then it showed that maybe you use words or material things to draw women in and make them want you or make it seem that they do, or you put a front on to make it look like that to others
i like the double meaning here

um... i guess that's all
NICE PIECE for real

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Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."