No reason to fight-the-lies..cause I have the right-to-die..
Sooner or later..ill be on my way to the flight-in-skies..
Nothings-the-same and im not fronting-my-game..
You think im joking? I think not, bluffings-for-lames..
Times counting-down..and Im bouncing-out..
My failure..im gonna start announcing-now…
No truth behind-lies..cause you see-my-eyes..
Full of hate and death, cause thee-mind-dies..
Its hard to find-trust…and mines-tough..
And more minutes I spend, makes time-rough..
I can afford-shame..brings me more toward-lame..
Cause I get played more than a fucking board-game..
You think me-joken..no, you just overly-spoken..
Cause healed wounds…just got re-opened..
Im on-the-edge..cause it’s the dawn-of-death..
Cause after this I wont be able to spawn-a-breath..
Frowns-no-smiles..cause being downs-my-style..
Just leave me be, while I go drown-a-while…
Im leaving-a-note..cause right now breathings-a-joke..
And if you ask me, im a loser seeing-no-hope

I was just writing how i felt...leave me some feedback, thanks.

damn kid ucame hard as fuk sum good ass mulites
Ill ass mulites hit hard
feelin it

1

Thanks for the feedback, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

Aight aight..looks good..seen better..but looks good. Just keep working on your multis and beats..and you got it in the bag yo. Its all good peace out yo...

rather enjoyed the read... I think I've read a better post from you somewhere down the line... but, liked the topic
(which never seems to get boring)

I did see a meaning, a measage, a feeling (what I mean by topic)
In your peice

yo bro. pretty good piece was a real easy read, u had a real nice use of multi's and some good wordplay and your rhyme scheme was pretty basic. some tight structure in this piece to and ur flow was pretty good. but all in all good piece bro keep droppin.

oh and another thing masta. I wanted to ask u if u wanted to do another up beat collab again sometime, u up for it?

__________________
<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

good drop, nice wordplay an strucrture, i think u came hard in some lines but some cud haveb been more thought out but good drop keep it up

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

first off Masta, ma dawg, overall it was a decent enough read, it had some feeling in it, and you made good use of ya multis, though i thought the structure was a bit eratic, which knocked the flow in places, but in most it was good, keep it up...aight.......peace

Hey thanks for the feedback so far, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

this is funny...your whole crew loves you...
but then again your pretty good

your topic choice was good and you stuck with the feeling.... id suggest to upp your word choice....find different ways to say the same thing... it would help you out
sometimes you dont have to spell it out for the reader...if you make then think they will probably enjoy the piece more

good work here kid

Hey thanks for the feedback, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

I wanna get some more feedback on this, uppping for some more feedback, if you check it out leave some feedback, its much appreciated, thanks.

fuckin raw, all i need to say