"Ultimate Regression"

I can't stand the world, I'm seen wearin' my head-set
Always listened to 2Pac, but ain't seen "Better Days" yet
Another day another struggle, a teen so misunderstood
These emotions are within, I've yet to see the good
A tear runs down my cheek, as I lose more of my soul
For all this to be gone, would mean I've reached my goal
My shadow has abandoned me, it's found a better place
But I aint goin' nowhere, I'm in an enclosed space
I feel as though I'm worthless, is anybody there?
Someone who can help me, who can mend my dispair
I should exit this world, I have nothin' more to live for
Too many pressures arise, I can't continue on anymore
If only it would fade away, maybe then I would be successful
Life's a tug-of-war, and I aint got the strength to pull
I stand in front of the mirror, and am missin' a reflection
My whole bodie's out of order, I need a resurrection
I don't respect myself, thoughts of inflicting pain
This is a lost fight, I've gave up the use of my brain
These are the chapters of my life, I'm almost to the end
I wouldn't expect you to understand, since you've never been
Wishing for a change, but it's unlikely there'll be one
Too much weight on my shoulders, it feels like a ton
A race against time, and I know I'm the one who'll lose
I never wanted this life, I never got to chose
A fighter without his shield, I'm hit with every attack
Nothin' to protect me, I'm forced to retreat back
The stars outline my future, as I see them in the sky
I don't like what they show me, is it possible they lie?
I'm all by myself, as I travel this lonely path
You have all the equations, now figure up the math
God please take my hand, and lead me far from here
I'm afraid of what I might do, if given another year
A dark cloud over head, I'm in a state of depression
Bein' released from the womb, that's my ultimate regression

fukkin awesome drop dude seriously i fukkin really dig this piece. It hits me deep cuz ive been through that shit in my fukkin head and shit and fukk dude i almost felt as if anybody who goes through this reads this they can almost feel like it is directed right at them. This was really good keep writing. Great Flow also.

hit this up w/ an honest vote if you could too thanx.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=86737

Thanks a lot dogg. Anyone else?

after i read this i got to tell u this about it : REAL SHIT YO
i really felt that a lot i peeped ure battles and ure mediocre but stick to this poetry type writting clearly u have a gift dog

peace

I already did hit it up man...

MO' FEEDBACK NEEDED!

Come on y'all! Don't sleep on this.

Can someone PLEASE gimme some mo' feedback on this

A
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The emotion was definately evident here.. Well written, the rhyming didnt seem forced... I got a little lost in the middle, kinda wandered away from me, but you got back on track, and kept me reading.

God please take my hand, and lead me far from here
I'm afraid of what I might do, if given another year
A dark cloud over head, I'm in a state of depression
Bein' released from the womb, that's my ultimate regression

The ending was great, very strong. Always an important aspect to writing.. Good write, you have a talent, keep writing.

__________________

Thanks y'all. Anyone else?

Hit this up y'all!