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The Golden Chyld
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~Nobody's Perfect~
IP: 17B3 6207
fgee
Baron God Walter Wall Sittin' in front of this computer screen Thinkin' of words to write Wit blurs of light Travellin' thru my doorway The curves of night Often become obsurd and bite But not so often do I bite back Hold on a minute I'll be right back ... Had to go get a night snack When U read this ... No need to write back Im juss typin' my mind About as lost as the person inside of me that is writin' these lines Twice did I find ... That Im far from perfect ... Covered with sin While my mother is in ... The kitchen discussin' the death Of her lover w/ the brothers of him ... But me ... Im the greedy type ... Never was one 2 hand out love Or even sympathy Often on my knees at the altar ... Askin' God wat has gotten in2 me And when he sent to me ... A letter addressed to his son A young one I read ... "Dear Mr. Nobody ... Ur perfect" I stopped readin' ... Cuz Im someone Blah ... Anotha key ... Juss felt like writin ... Let me get some feedback Last edited by MeNTiLL : 11-05-03 at 07:50 PM. |
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Light Weight
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IP: E38C 4580
Keystyle...... and it was fuckin dope cuz. Flow was Ill, damn dog, every bit of it was ill. Multi's, imagery.. this piece was excellent. I honestly don't see a damn thing wrong with it. I would quote the best lines.. but I'd hafta quote the whole thing. You showed me somethin in this piece dog, i'ma be sure to look for more of ya drops.
Since I can't point out the best line.. here's my favorite: And when he sent to me ... A letter addressed to his son A young one I read ... "Dear Mr. Nobody ... Ur perfect" I stopped readin' ... Cuz Im someone ^^ The depth of that last line. . . Like findin ya self, loved that shit. Dope Cuz.. real Dope. -Formula. **Mind droppin some feedback? http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89771 Greatly appreciated... By the way.. maybe we could do a Collab sometime.. lemme know aight?**
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Guest
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IP: A044 7DA1
Good flow and it was a easy read
but the content had much to be desired The conclusion was near dope, but the rest seemed like nothing but filler But some more depth and cohesiveness to the entire piece and Itll have good potential keep droppin hit up my open mic entitled Maturity, thx Last edited by Walter Wall : 11-05-03 at 07:37 PM. |
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The Golden Chyld
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IP: 17B3 6207
Yea I feel you ... I didn't spend much time on this ... Wasn't meanin' for it to be perfect ... Juss was bored ... But thanks for the replies ... Peace
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Light Weight
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IP: 8AFF 7D25
my fav. line was
while the mother is in... the kitchen discussin the death of her lover with the brothers of him that's not the exact line I don't think...but that area was fuckin dope....I can't copy and paste for some reason or else I'd copy the whole thing prolly lol....niceness duke...keep it up
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<center> I.J.L</center> |
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Guest
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IP: 32D9 0BD3
For not spending a lot of time on it..not bad at all..but it was kinda dope..just work on it a little for something more serious..aight peace
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