10 Lines
No DR votes
No Beef votes

Check in and then spit..i got some work to do then ill spit

you can spit after i do or before...up2 you

yo ill spit first this is my check in


give me like 15 minutes write up



latez

here goes nothin.....

tell you what, im starting just another newbie
but let me show you whats up with this here doobie
imma bout to smoke you like another fucking herb
gonna blast ya like i was tha U.N. n'ou a serb
the origin of wackness is obvious and true
it was when your fucking sick crackhead mamma had you
ive been rhymimg for less than a month and weeks
but find me up in your verse's holes and leaks
i was chillin true but then you had to fool yourself
i aint killin you because youll just die on the shelf

aiight

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Peadafiles only beatin kids so im battin his balls right out the park
N my rhymes fuck you with the lights on so you aint in bush's after dark
Your lifes a fumble..only thing you catchin is flat lines to your name Catch_
N like suicide bombers..battles leave you dead n itl always be the same
After this youl see the light..hit the ceiling..hangin from the beams
Provin this suckas fulla shit..by showin his label..colonic irrigation machine
Your names true...you aint dropped nothing..not even ya balls
and you winnins imposible..like midgets standind tall
You aint new to Rectum Beatins you dropped more soap than vh1
Imma act like ya verse n tell one big lie..looks to me youv won

good battle

votes apretiated

nice verses lets get some votes.......

my poetry:

extended metaphor:
doobie = weed
herb = weed, herb
die on the shelf = like groceries: herbs.

meter/flow:
13 syllables each line,
iambic feet on the ends.

rhyming:
both masculine (one syllable) and feminine (2 syllable).
both exact rhymes and slant rhymes.

To me I think you both need a little work but I vote this to Origin by a hair he just had more about catch than catch had about him and he some what had simular punchez than catch but like I said slightly better!

Vote goes to Origin

thanks

but its 100 posts to vote here

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uppin number 1

yeah......


all my votez are unofficial,

it sucks but i guess only more expirience peepz are allowed to vote

uppin 2

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Flow- catch
Punches- Origin
Structure- catch
Wordplay- Origin
Personals- Tie.. None used
Vocab- Origin
Creativity- origin
Enjoyment- Origin

Overall: Origin

Tips.... Catch, look at what he did, extend your lines a little more and use some wordplay

thank fuck a vote...thanks man

1-0 to me

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catch came way too simple, but got potential

origin took this, better punches & flow, all around better verse

vote = origin

yall hit this up

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=88886

thanks man

pritiated

2-0 to me

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id hit that up but i got minimal posts