replied to rule, mbp, and snakeyes

this is the lyrics to the full song version of the keystyle post I made last week called "sicc"....


got u shakin like sex toys, making more noise than R Kelly in a room full of little boys//
ya bitchass ain't got a choice, and ya will will neva be clear like lil jon's voice//
like sleepy children, u'll find yaself kidnapped, wake up, get ya shit clapped//
fuckin with an emcee titer than a virgin bitches clit-crack//
broke off like kit-kats, face red n swollen from the bitchslaps//
u got a hot verse, still guranteed I can rip that//
got balls? u'll wind up with a slit sack messin with the siccness in my technique//
u homosexual squirtin white liquid like bitches that breast feed//
rhymes so hot u could cover em with Cher's asshole n they'd still be sexy//
like a class of retarded immigrants you'll fail if u try n test me

(hook)
Fuck you bitches I rip ya shit quick//
braindead headtrama becuz I'm so sicc//
u hoes lickin biggot dicks ain't into this//
get ya domepiece n muthafuckin wigs split bitch

U hoes like gary coleman, u ain't growin up cuz//
I got u like slobs, the way u be throwin up blood//
u hoes is just fucked, openin up ya throat//
blowin it up n whut about flowin until it explodes//
ya face flushed like comodes ya feel it implode//
ya neck spinnin like when my wheels hit the road//
killin ya whole set, can't get me off, I'm on top it//
rip off ya limbs leave a stump like john bobbit//
u fucked n can't stop it, like rape victims//
mafia killa, got more junk in my trunk than Soul Train bitches//
my soul trains bitches, millamilla nine poppin//
u herbs so fake I even see the wiggas pickin cotton//
my triggas rippin often, n I ain't racist//
but I'm racin after u like jason til u locked in the basement...

(hook)

Mad skills, I dare ya bitch to ask me for it//
my style so sicc AIDS developed a vaccine for it//
metaphoric muthafuckin killa murder on the news//
they found Osama fuckin a lama tied to a noose//
u can't elevate, like my tool a stool to stand on//
knowin Rapid Fire sicca than ya grandmas tampons//
throwin up EAST SIDE till my fingers land on planets//
panic cuz I manage my manic satanic schisophrenic//
figet fuck a midget pick up the misfit by the bitches//
armpits n open the clit n stick my dick in it//
rip it til it ripens n I'm frightened by the bitterness//
boxing in a match, round for round with a 10 pound clitoris//
smokin ciggerates nigga it's the eastpsychopathic//
killa have those nervous twitches like a crystal meth addict

(hook)

your last two verses were much better then your first they were on point and flow was good also it had a better scructure, this was a good read keep it up man an thanks for the reply on myn pz

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

yea tha first verse wasn't as on point as the others...I gotta take a few syllables out of each line..thanx for the reply

__________________
<center> I.J.L</center>

First Verse was crap flow and structure wise, but you picked up the pace nicely in the following verses. I liked the flow in the last 2 verses and the structure was a helluva lot better cuz.

Mad skills, I dare ya bitch to ask me for it//
my style so sicc AIDS developed a vaccine for it
^^ Def a nice line.

Overall, after making it through the first verse, the read got easier. Just edit and fix the flow and syllable distribution in the first verse and you got your self a nice track. Nice drop man.

-Formula.

** Peep http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=91167 Good look **