Something occured to me a while ago, and the problem is, i cant say anything about it. I dont really want to ither. These are some of the thoughts that ran through my head...



With so much pain I finally broke.
What happened crushed everything left
I've been hurt like this before, but I can't handle it this time.
With all the other shit, it just adds.
Everythin gthat has been happening isnt worth comparing to this.
You hurt me in a way that I never thought possible.
You said you wouldnt hurt me for anything.
Yet look what you did.
I cant tell my friends even my boyfriend.
So much pain fills my body as the beats get harder.
Is it my heart or what you did?
Thoughts of suicide enter my mind.
I thought I was as low as I could be.
It's different now because I gained a shovel.
You hurt me so much.
Now I just want to die.
No one can possibly understand.
Please just leave me alone..
As I decide whether or not to slit my wrists...
The pain grows stronger...
A slight incision and it could all be over..
As I take my knife out its up to me now..
Close to skin, and about to slice...............



Am I in heaven or hell where I belong?....
Am I dead yet?....
No because something stopped me.....


What is that thing?....
I dont know....

Don't use things like "b/f" in an actual piece. It adds a certain "stale"ness to it all. It really doesn't coincide. But, thats just my feeling on it...


And the thing is called life.
Or fear.

Or maybe common sense.

i know what it is like to feel this way and feel so close to the edge
i though that this was very well written. i connected with u b/c u have so much emotion running throught ur mind great poem
The pain grows stronger...
A slight incision and it could all be over..
As I take my knife out its up to me now..
Close to skin, and about to slice...............

Thanks for the feedback, keep it comin....

the short, concise lines worked with the structure of narrative.
That's good.
it was emotionally driven so it's meant to have a critique on content, nor does it deserve one.
good work, it always helps to write things down even if they happen to be incoherent... this one wasn't though.
keep the head up there.
.wurd.

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I'm a goblin hooked on rails, stuck drinking ale/ I'll rip the horn out a unicorn and shove it up your fairy tale.

Great piece Angel. Something is buggin you and if there is a way i can help just let me know. I'm your friend to the end and I always will be. You are my best friend in the world and I will do anything to help you babe. Just let me know. TTYL, LU4E&A

MM

Thanks for the feedback ppl, keep it comin.

Sweet, I'm iight, least i think. Talk to ya bout it later.

Danka once again.

Vivd and emotional, almost calling out to the reader for support though a very hadr time. It sounds like someone close to you let you down in a major way. It seems as if you are confused as to how best to handle the situation. I hope this is something you can sift through using your talent for writing. It would be tragic to lose such a good poet... Stay strong and keep focused is all I can suggest, aftert his drop, our thoughts are with you..


god Bless,

Bounce

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FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!!

It's really hard to get through this right now, but I'm usin the support of my friends and everyone to make it out ok. Thank you very much for your feedback, it is greatly appreciated. Especially from somone of ur talent. Thank you again. Tryin to keep my head up. Danka

Your very welcomed mija, if you ever need help or just need to vent you can always be assured I am here for you. I hope you get though this and be assured my prayers are with you...

Bounce

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FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!!

Thank you again sweet. I really appreciate everything. I'll hit u up if i need someone to talk to. Thanks again. I'll get through it, especially with ppl like u.

Another great piece without a doubt. Letting everything out through your writing..
You gota stay strong mentally cause thats what you only have at the moment, and geting through this problem alone is the best
solution. It would only make you stronger and as you go.. other problems would not effect you as much. You just gota try and conquer your own mind..

Just my 2 cents^^

what can you say- i mean angel you are just awesome when it comes to writing. i usually just read posts and build on my own now im tryin to be a lil less selfish.-lol you can take just bout any topic throw a lil emotion on it and just make it one of the best reads in the forum. you have a great talent, keep using it. i agree with BDD bout wed lose a great poet to soemthin so tragic. stay strong, your talents will take you places. great read-you alone make it worthwhile to keep comin back

Thanks you guys. Your feedback means a lot to me. Thank you so much B. Everyone is really supportin me on this and I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. The bruises and scratches are still there, but everyday seems to get better. Especially when I read stuff like you guys write to me. I dont know what to say accept thank you so much. You're all sweet.

^uppin for more replies...