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Old 11-13-03, 08:34 AM   #1
Sublime D
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Divine Pain

IP: C1DA C961

Divine pain
when will my losses yield my gain
while now I lie beaten by the rain
i still spit real shit, always livin my name
sublime, worthy of awe and praise
my only release from the daily malaise
i possess a flow like the nile
string multis for miles
the words that i compile
product of my livin trials
will leave all in denial
of skill-so-raw, yet- still-so infantile
i am no evanescent
my blessings are omnipresent
yet i fight for my legend
people can't understand my lessons
they need tutorin
My metaphors have them stressing
wanna turn their computer in
Yet and still i boast
about how i burn mcs like toast
about hwo i represent the east coast, buffalo
i still try to establish my flow
i still try to teach those who don't know
im ready to stop but still i go
the river of shit will always flow
so i paddle, from open mics to battles
leaving concious thought rattled
and now i prattle on
prolonging this poetic song
i could flow all day long
but that would be wrong
so now i end
pointless as i when i begin

Last edited by Davinity : 11-14-03 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 11-13-03, 08:48 AM   #2
Sublime D
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i replied to Mbp the thign his girl wrote, i replied to that wordperfect joint, and that 13th disciple, regime collab
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"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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Old 11-13-03, 10:20 AM   #3
snakeyes
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nice drop man. cant say it was the shit, but nice, real nice.
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Old 11-13-03, 08:22 PM   #4
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you could make the lines alittle longer and complex but i still liked the flow keep it up holla back
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Old 11-14-03, 03:01 PM   #5
Sublime D
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can i get some feedback
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Sublime
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"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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Old 11-14-03, 06:32 PM   #6
Sublime D
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dman im postin on my shit more than anybody else uppin.....
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Sublime
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"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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Old 11-14-03, 07:09 PM   #7
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mbp said it right but it doesnt mean this was less then hot just an easy way to touch it up it was still a dope read..you got style pressence i want to here you on audio
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Old 11-14-03, 07:13 PM   #8
Sublime D
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ill try soem audio soon, i gotta get a new mic for my comp...if u have a chance, check out now or nothin...i personally think its the hottest open mic i have
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Sublime
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"..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."

<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

<imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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Old 11-14-03, 08:43 PM   #9
rule
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you shou,d re-wright this, i think you could do much better your structure was off and your vocab was basic, i think you are capable of greater potential do it again in'a couple days an get some more metas an shit spice it up people would like it more, it's good but you could do better i think

my 2 cents
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