(There both eye to eye and debating weather to kill or let live)
First Man...was all thoughts until end..

Before This All Started Was He A Happy Man Suckered To War
To Fight For A Cause Unworthy And Lost Of Fighting Inacent For
Why Am I Thinking Not To Kill This Menace With Tears In His Eye
Is He A Father Too Who Was Depribed Scared He Is Going To Die
Can't Put My Gun Down For It Seems Time Is Stuck No Ticking
I Hear Bombs And Crys But Trapped To Find What He's Thinking
Posably He's Satan Or Is The Soldjour Praying He Doesn't Demies
Sweating blood I Have To Make A Decision For Is For Lives
Who Are Delerious Scared Whos Stink Could Over Whelm A man
I Must Depart For I See Clear In His Eyes What To Understand
Dropped My Gun Put It My Holster Put My Hand On His Shoulder
Looked Him In The Eyes Closer And Stuttered Good Luck Soldjour

Second Man:

Arangment Of Soldjour On Soldjour With A gun Facen Your Faith
Argument Shoot Ya Culteral Disgrace Or Stab You Into Gods Place
Choking From Mustard Gas If I Don't Kill You That Absolutly Will
Soaking From Urine And Rain I'm About to Blast You Down Hill
Starring Deeep Into My Eyes You Must Be Trapped In A Illusion
All This Blood Shead Must Have your Mind In A State Of Confusion
My Trigger Finger Is Itchen To Scratch You Off The Face Of Earth
War Is Evil But I'm Obligated To Put you Back To The Cruddy Dirt
Complexion In My Mind Of Your Insecurities Intwined Tobe Afraid
Sorry I Noticed Ya Don't Want to Die One Father Meets The Grave
So As I Pull The Trigger Picture The Bullet Unleash From The Nozel
I Lay In Bed 50 Years From That Day And Read The Apoligee Novel
That I sent To Your Family...Because you didn't Die Properly
You Lasted A Few Seconds...Told Me How Two Fathers Goin Home
Was A Marvelous Blesson... I Created An Unwanted TombStone

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

some of the rhymes were a little scratchy but all in all it was an awsome peice
you have power in your words

thanks uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

the picture of this was drawn out very well, written with good words, and i felt i coudl see these two men standing there thinking, it all could have taken place within less then 10 seconds, but you explained the thoughts of these men very well.

the first man reminded me of a part from the movie all quiet on the westren front when the main charater jumps a guy but doesnt kill him, just hurts him real bad, then he sees that the other side is just like him.

i liked the fact that it showed both states of mind, instead of writing one piece of one who wanted to kill, or one piece about one who didnt want to kill, this showed us both, and you did a good job putting and explaing the thoughts and emotions of both sides.

the structure was good and so was the flow, i didnt find the rhyming affected it any, it seemed real.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

__________________

thanks a lot..it was suppose tobe a topical try out peice for regime....apreciated pz

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461