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11-21-03, 07:43 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Mirror Image
IP: 3DEF 9A9C
Lookin in the mirror whos that guy on the other side?
Looks like he scared of everything, wantin to hide, He cant handle his life and whats goin on around his mind, When he gets upset, his anger rises and multiplies, He cant stop commitin crimes, cant turn his wrongs into rights, Cant stop for a minute before he leaves this world and takes flight, He's trying as hard as he can,to get out of the darkness that blinds, Trying as hard as he can to stop his life from declines, Turning his world around from negative to posotive actually aint as simple as he thought, But that's his problem, he doesnt think, doesn't care who gets shot, He gotta understand this is the real deal, it aint no scrimmage, Oh shit, that guy in the mirror, is my mirror image. Give me some feedback on this, i wrote it kinda quick so tell me what i can improve on... -1- |
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11-21-03, 07:44 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 3DEF 9A9C
Uppin on this piece here i'll check up on it later today
PeAcE |
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11-21-03, 08:26 PM | #3 | |||||||
Str8 From CopKilla Queens
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IP: 4577 CD9A
Whoa, this shit was hot, the concept has been run into the ground already but it definitely has a little personal flavor in it, like spiraling into the darkness and you take pity on the person you see but when you open your eyes you realize you were watching yourself the whole time...eery...i like it, 1luv.
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11-21-03, 08:30 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: A70C 8BB7
NICE
flow was nice and the last line was great i read and was just like DAMN nicely done |
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11-21-03, 11:50 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 3DEF 9A9C
Thx both yall much appreciation for the comments. Ok uppin on this piece imma drop a few more i wrote.
-1- |
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11-22-03, 12:42 AM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 399E F0FD
Nice job. I liked it. Sounds like somethin that is runnin through my head. Its like u got inside urs and spilled. Its like you are analyzing someone that you dont even know, then you find yourself standing in front of a mirror analyzing yourself. Great job. Keep up tha good work. Most respect.
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11-22-03, 12:51 AM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: 3DEF 9A9C
Thx angel appreciate the feedback uppin on this right here...
-1- |
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11-22-03, 01:01 AM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: 2A87 EF89
This shit is raw. I can relate to it my past anyways. When back when I really had no friends my temper shot and I always was out fighting not thinking and going on. When I got some friends and found a girl who liked me I continued and fucked up. Really seen who I was being and stopped. Went soft but it didn't bother me. Am now I am now. Great read man Spect JT
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11-22-03, 08:19 AM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: C149 8644
this was a good drop. u really touched on how i feel right about now. we need more.....
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11-22-03, 11:03 AM | #10 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 3DEF 9A9C
K thanks both yall for the feedback Imam post my new one i just wrote pretty soon make sure u check it.
-1- |
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11-22-03, 09:38 PM | #11 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: F845 C337
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=92718
^drop an honest vote on that poetry battle if you get a chance. Anyway though.. I loved this. Amazing piece. I could feel this completely... I love how... you started saying things about how the person lived his life.. and then you realized it was you. Amazingly done. Great job.
__________________
<center>Fuck it...</center> |
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11-23-03, 01:21 AM | #12 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 4577 CD9A
tight shit 9.5/10 best ive seen so far....................................
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11-25-03, 09:25 PM | #13 | ||||||
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IP: 85D2 AAD1
that shit was hot n it touched me in places i didnt kno i had no joke keep up da goood work
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11-26-03, 09:27 AM | #14 | |||||||
Registered User
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IP: 3FC7 BA1F
This shit was hot. i feel ya on this. good job keep it up.
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