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Old 11-23-03, 07:30 PM   #1
ILL-Literate
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jus spittin cuz i'm bored

IP: BDE5 6510

Like the climax of oral sex my rhymes come straight from the top of the brain, dont be ashamed if ya fans aint feelin u no more, its jus my spits hits- effective like nova-cane// I spit to split the human anatomy till ya see guts splattered on the living room floor, I'm hated by pimps cuz I'm stealin sex from their whores// Though, I'm not homeless but I'm still eatin garbage, talkin about these weak lyricst, throwin out random shit and I dont make sense but you're gonna be feelin this// Big pimpin in the Robin mobile decked out on 22's, Super hero fightin crime and beatin ass with my new black shoes// I'm jus rhymin dont know what the fuck I'm talking about, So ima just stop while I'm ahead....holla front
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Old 11-23-03, 08:04 PM   #2
Menik
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You need to leave 3 names or 3 links of people you left feedback on or this will get deleted...

But this was ok...you need to work on structure though, dont put it in paragraph form put it one line on top of another....flow was ok add some multies and internals to help with that...vocab was ok as well, try to up it though...overall it was ok, work on structure...keep at it and keep dropping.
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Old 11-23-03, 08:15 PM   #3
Trivia101
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YO ROBIN I SAID I WOULD BATTLE U DAWG PM ME
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Old 11-23-03, 08:36 PM   #4
ChasinReveries
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don't get bored anymore...or at least don't write when ur bored
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