The queen city
Niggas fiendin for money and honeys
Rollin deep wit heat, crushing bodies like test dummies
Poor economy, results in drug sales and robbery
It’s no oddity
City leaders need to reverse lying campaigns to honesty
Forget a tax cut,
Id rather have 20 bucks
Enough to keep my kids from starving while they growing up
Were out of loans, trust, and luck
So politicians pass the buck
From city to county, from county to state
Complain then raise tax rates
Could this really be our fate
To just dissolve into the state
Can’t stand our burden so we collapse under the weight
Don’t mean to berate
But it isn’t too late
We can still change fate
Bur we cant wait, already too late, gotta stand up today, unite and once again be great
Reach a new height, potential beyond sight, out of every darkness comes light, out of every wrong comes right, day comes after every night, every fight brings new lessons, as long as it aint arresting our hearts, it leaves knowledge to impart

that was a good read..... i like the bottom half better but the top
half had more message.... your vocabulary was lacking but you
had okay structure....some lines were way longer than all the
others but in the end the message stood out more...Keep writing.

__________________
<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
<BR>
<BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I>

...

__________________


<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>

this was a hot drop, as was previously mentioned the lower portion of the poem seemed to me to be more of a flow, more of a message, better vocab but the whole piece was tight, the very last 2-4 lines were the dopest in my opinion, a very hot piece, glad i read it, stay up, 1luv.

Great read, especially the ending. Structure and everything was good. I agree with Da NFamous. Keep it comin. Good work. Much respect.

I really liked the bottom and the top was a good read also. You have a good message in this one and i enjoyed reading it. i'd like to read another sometime.

Overall Grade

8/10

thanks for the love, i had two motives for this, first to raise awarness fof Buffalo, you'd be suprised how many people ahve never heard of it.....secodnly, i was making public my thoughts on city politics.....im goign to do one on Buffalo crime....there have nbeen soem terrible ones...then im planning one on the fact that we have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the nation..the nation...and hwo its the 20th most dangeourous city, whiel one of our suburbs, east amheasrt is th esafest in america 3 years runing.....im going to call it my buffalo renewal series

__________________


<center>HemiSphere
The Write Side Of Your Mind</center>