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Old 11-24-03, 07:51 PM   #1
rule
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This Is Hard
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Yo Gramps...if you can hear me...listen up...i miss you...

I'm in a drastic state, confused on how lonelyness took your place
I Cray and wait, until one day i can see your smilen rose face
I never had a dad, but you carried me through life an i thank you
Gave me wut i never had, put down my strife,now what do i do?
Tired of searching and waiting, losing my inner patiance
For i call your name its humiliationg still wona grasp ya guidance
My rhyme schemes off, but it's hard to rhyme when you soft
Lost my goal an cause, prayes hopes and wishes because....
Of the father that i persued grandpa was my dad that i never new
I am who i am becuza you, opened my wings and begun to fly
For when i die, be waiting at the gate, og...tell my sis i said hi...
she was 5 when she died gug...you ever felt like this...huh
Critisized by peers from my fallen tears in class...im so confused
Paralized fears, i wish you was right here...im'a dead fuze...
Wit no spark...dead...cant be recharged...we talkin my heart..
it lost its beat the day ya was covered in blankets of dirt..start
to finish this piece..cuz i cant finish...so grandpa..rest in peace..
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Old 11-24-03, 08:05 PM   #2
Smooth JT
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Rule, shit man you hit my heart and hit it hard. was young when my grandpa died so I really didn't know the meaning or anything of it till my brain opened a path to my past. Forget the structure or anything else, it had emotion and deep as that is it was great. I feel for you and know how it goes. Rule with the utmost respect a man could give to another, I thank you for an exellent read and even more a read that has hit my heart Deep. Spect JT
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Old 11-24-03, 08:57 PM   #3
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yo this really affencted me it brought a tear to my eye my grandpa is really sick right now and he is probably going to dies soon. all i can say it wow there was alot of emotion in that piece and i truely felt that i dont wanna judge u on anything else buz there is nothig wrong this came from ur heart and there is where the best work is written
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Old 11-24-03, 11:51 PM   #4
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Man, this was heartfelt. I know exactly what ur goin through and its really hard. You had a lot of emotion in this and I felt every bit of it. When my grandparents died, i locked myself in my room for 3 weeks. I'm totally feelin this, and theres nothing wrong with this piece. It came from your heart, and theres basically never anything wrong with something that comes from inside. Amazing job. Keep yo head up. Much respect.
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Old 11-25-03, 07:25 AM   #5
rule
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thanks everybody....thats apreciated...uppen
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Old 11-25-03, 10:19 AM   #6
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yo i feel u dawg 4 real
my gramps was dyin when i was like 9 it hit me hard.
u did good 4 real
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Old 11-26-03, 03:28 PM   #7
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thanks uppen
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Old 11-27-03, 09:15 PM   #8
rule
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uppen for some feedback
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Old 11-27-03, 09:36 PM   #9
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wow this was realy tough...
ummm...im speachless wat you wrote was your inner feelings sumthin thats hard to pull out this was great this is your secound poem i read and its amazin how you add every detail cleary for us all to picture





peace
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Old 11-27-03, 10:03 PM   #10
rule
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yo thanks that means a lot...i'll check out some of your stuff later pz homie
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Old 11-27-03, 10:22 PM   #11
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Wow. This piece really hit me. I felt you the whole way through. It was very emotional. I truly know how it feels to lose someone who held a very special, unreplacable place in your heart. This piece got to me, all b/s aside. Nicely written. I wish i could give you a hug right now. Keep your head up pa and keep writing.
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Understanding Once Again
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Old 11-27-03, 10:40 PM   #12
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thanks lady, thats apreciated i'll peep your stuff tomorrow im goin to bed....pz
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Old 11-29-03, 09:55 PM   #13
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up
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Old 11-30-03, 09:23 AM   #14
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Rule just bled emotion in this. I'm not gonna sit here and say "this was wrong" and shit like that cause I could tell it was straight from ur heart and thats all that matters with this. It was worth reading and replying to. Keep doin the damn thing as long as its comin from ur heart and not ur ass.
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