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Old 11-15-03, 10:43 AM   #1
Keys aka Vital
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Keys featuring Scavenger and Aeschines

IP: C7D4 0D66

Keys
Skeletons made to swallow lies, inside of hollow eyes
Cloaked Apollo's light, greed's temptation to follow prize,
the loss adjacent, nature had taken its taste sense,
but the good assume it had been a mistaken misplacement,
while those above reap what they sew, so to keep up the show,
durin' daylight fuck which way's right, doze off and sleep without woe,
no skies stayed blue..but with this gray hue I got a tan still
why complain, we've got a great view on top this land fill...
watch a plan build, from foundation to sky tip,
then see it crumble to ash when facin' a lie slipped
the occasion can't hide it, either die or live in the now,
something stable cut short leads to incisions in vows
sliced artistic appendage, we wont have it be, a travesty,
throw away the latches key, how fitting for your Majesty,
Not somethin' I try to hide, when feeling pressed for time
then again I might die tonight before I crest my prime,
a thread thin with tension, mention it must be taylor made,
before you find each of your fists clenchin' a rusty razorblade...

Scavanger the Satyr
led I, courteously.. said I, behead the merchant
stop this boast of vanity.. sudden threat occurring
Death in person; Satyr is the most of humanity
injected the poison with dismal doses of sanity,
hoaxes of amity, friendship's frozen to charity
broken apparently,lately even prose is a parody
Ive chosen sincerity...prowl fields of broken partisans
then part with posing charlatans.. closing harnesses
pick up time's glove and fight windmills
to crystallize fire and break that ice, kindle
I paint the sky crimson, restraint's a dire mention
you'll faint in high presence for craving my sentence
well, tainted's the ravage that pen do, ink's solar
for I wrote a sunrise to the city my jinx's over
I think so, but, it'll turn blue when the page burns
to emerge in your eyes only,phoenix,so flames turn
I struck the match and won it, didn't burn a nail
stormed the castle thunderstruck; in a turret's tale
death of civilization: repeat every thousand years
arousing tears but evolution must keep running ...
just keep running.. or the town of towns will drown in fear

Aeschines.........
from birth each human ruined with evil pollutants
gruesome hallucinogens...scapegoat sequal with contusions
people intruding everything thats wrong...world illusions
we swirl into confusion...rape murder and suicides cruising
brusing society with news...as reporters confuse spectators stand amused
brand the black and blue...permanant marks...walk are way and stay rude
crude behavior...loot is a savior
the timberland boots are for saving the flavor of blood on the cops tazer
crooked lazers...crooks fad away...tokens traded in for prey
braded the way...cornrolls on whites???...blacks..hispanics..spics..caucasions
convey...
our society fucked...or is it 12 am...the end of another fucked up day
sunset sets....sunrise rises...luck stuck in a crate...bullets love to hate
a dove floats...a crow boasts...our flow goes coast to coast in the same state
a vein persona...work to late...nine to five...stuggling
tug of war...hugging coffe cups...the devil takes a seat...and the heat is bubblin
rubble of nine elleven...no more seventh heaven...gamblers stay hustlin
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Old 11-29-03, 11:32 PM   #2
yungone
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dat was vicuis
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Old 11-30-03, 01:07 AM   #3
Menik
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You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of feedback you left or this will get deleted...

But this was pretty good...kind of a long read but it was decent...structure needs a little work here and there, some of the lines were a little stretched, try making them around the same length to help that out...vocab in this was ok, could be up'd though...but overall this was alright..keep at it.
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