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Old 11-29-03, 02:54 PM   #1
lyrical mobb
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fuck ratts

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Ur crew drop dime’s 2 2’2tips that’s how u afford Ur lines\
Paying niggers to Wright rhymes getting more figures then on the grime\
Its time for me to shine so fuck Ur kind listen hard if im behind bars \
Ill leave u laying there motion less stareing at the stars \
Ill leave Ur kids begging for there lives torhering wit guns and knives\
I’m colder then a winter night flowing wit out a fright ready to fight\
Gang or not u step in my path u get shot dropped on the spot’ rats are the plot\
Blacks say ‘star’ its rats backwards strap two’ and one in the back first \
U no two gatts hurt cuzz u all actors if Ur not ill be sure to putt two up in Ur mug\
U be another dead thug rapped up in rug filled wit hollow slugs \
So don’t act tuff cuzz ull get snubbed homey u ant loved \
I’m the guy u rubbed the wrong way now u got find ur way home the long way\
Dead song u sleep internally killing my souls burning me morally \
My actions ant a story ‘G’ everything I tell u is real so tell me im not being felt \
Cuzz I play the hand im dealt \

ps. i did what ask i replyed to three for this one and three for the other\
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Old 11-29-03, 02:56 PM   #2
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you need to say which three you replyed to, and posting links would be good too.
otherwise this gets deleted, thats how it works.
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Old 11-29-03, 02:57 PM   #3
YJ
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This was an iight piece
just gotta uppin da vocab a lil
but this was nuffin bad
keep droppin
7.5/10
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Old 11-29-03, 03:17 PM   #4
lyrical mobb
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yo what do u meen i got to say who i replyed to ill tell u exactly what if i dont remember its not like i dident do it
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Old 11-29-03, 03:24 PM   #5
WORD~PERFECT
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NOT A BAD LIL SOMETHING I LIKED BUT YOU MUST ADVANCE VOCAB
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Old 11-29-03, 03:30 PM   #6
self
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From Scarborough, eh? Where?

Its not hard to remember. And if you can't, use "search", its located at the bottom of each of your posts. Look for what you've replied to in Open Mic... thats all.
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Old 11-29-03, 03:37 PM   #7
lyrical mobb
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i replyed to johoony watts scared off mics
thank full
back stabbers my thoughts and others so hear some ill leave more as i progress
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Old 11-29-03, 03:38 PM   #8
lyrical mobb
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and im from the danforth area of scar town
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Old 11-29-03, 04:41 PM   #9
Menik
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This was alright.....The structure was ok needs a little work though, try making the lines around the same length cause you had some long ones and some small ones.....vocab could be better though....try adding a few multies to help it out....but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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Old 11-29-03, 04:53 PM   #10
Spike Sanders
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yo wus up my nigga, this piece was good, you just need ta elivate your vocab, but other than that it was ok.
6.5/10.
PEACE
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Old 11-29-03, 08:44 PM   #11
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I was not feelin this to much...i mean there are a million topics why choose the one that is the most steriotypical of rap...but seeing as you did...the things you could fix are multies and flow...but just try and be more original naw mean...cause there are so many people who can write songs with blueprinted topics...and vocab they could use but it takes a real emcee to devise a topic and then see it through in there own words thoughts and emotions...

holla
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