They call me the doc cause im a world wide verbal surgeon
Full clip of words wont leave you bloody but I leave you hurtin
Bring down ya pride you cant hide from this shit im spittin
Got the good book beside me dont try see the shit was writtin
Got no love in this world for anything except a beat
Thats the reason you cant see me an me you wont defeat
Have a seat an realize dont despise the shit I got to say
On this mic I cant be overcome see son well there is no way
Day and night I write an recite to fight this life I lead
Smokin weed has got me sick its like I can barely breath
Gotta break loose from this noose of life around my neck
Its like im on a plane insanely waitin for the wreck
Tryin to break free to me its like I will never win
I try again but fail, it seems that hell has got me drawn to sin
But then again I pray for the day that I can finally rest
An tower over MC’s more advanced an see im the best
My lifes a mess father my sins see I must confess
But help guide my lyrics farther I plead my sprits quest

this was ok, it started out quite battle like then seemed to turn more poetic, try mixing up the work stucture to give it more feel and change the emphasis on some parts to make the stand out. not bad effort, 6/10

On a newbie level this was quite good.. There was a few inners, some qute good vocab.. But just achknoweledge there is much better pieces than this.. this was extremely basic..

some tips is.. trying using multis or more inners to help the flow..

also.. try using some w/p.. & choose a concept that is interesting & maybe een a story..

Pz

Thanks for the input guys. I was just messen with a new flow an thought i would see what people thought. But peep my other post they are better than this one.

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of peoples you left feedback too or this will get deleted...

But this was alright....structure wise it was pretty good i thought...your vocab was pretty decent in this, it could be up'd a little bit though...your flow was ok, it got off at a few points and like Pot1ent said use some multies and internals to help the flow out....but overall this was alright...keep at it.