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Old 12-02-03, 12:32 PM   #1
Jo-JO
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We All Human

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My Replies:
Remembering us/ Infinite skillz
'My Last Supper'/Lowd Mowf
watch out now/the NAIL


Yo time out, ya'll need to calm that stuff down
And that's the double truth ruth
As Samuel L said in "Doin' the Right Thing"
Racist people stating biggotest thing
Everyone's afraid of anyone
Some people laugh like coppin on heritage is fun
When it comes to me racist ideas stop and are done
African American, Caucasion, more than different
Ancestors come from different worlds,
but both struggle to pay the rent
I take that back, hate cause the similarities to lack
People that talk power for white or black,
Leads obsessed minds to be wack
Tense hatred leads to fights and riots
This leads to the gun you feel you have to buy it
Racial slurs, Don't make sense like retards who stutter and speak in slurs
People always remember what we were
Flying high the confederate flag,
no wonder the American flag is beginning to sag
We can't forget about the rest,
it's what makes America the best
It's the mixing kettle of the many American
Asian, Korean, Italian, Egyptian, Native American,
Indian,Puerto Rican and Mexican,
WE ALL AMERICAN, IF NOT WE ALL HUMAN
PZ AND LUV
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Let God speak for the underground Psalm 49 16-17
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich when the splendor of his house increases
17 For he will take no thing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him
18Though while he lived he counted himself blessed - and men praise you when you prosper-
19 He will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light of life

20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish
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Old 12-02-03, 01:02 PM   #2
menolin
\/ pissing me off!!!!
 
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Some people laugh like coppin on heritage is fun
When it comes to me racist ideas stop and are done
^^^nice line^^^

The piece itself was good, but could of been made better,
you need to use more vocabulary, and wordplay.

And your structure needs a little help, you kept most lines the same length, but sum were more than a few words over.

nice topic, and i liked the title, thought it was gonna be better than it was.

6/10

aiight

no hate

peace


and please check out 'breakin' by myself and white lightning.
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Old 12-02-03, 02:17 PM   #3
Menik
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Yeah this was alright i thought....your structure needs a little work though, try making the lines around the same length so its structured right....the flow was alright in this, try adding some multies and internals to help it out though....vocab in this was ok, could be up'd though...but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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Old 12-02-03, 02:36 PM   #4
Edicius
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Coudl have been executed better with a better flow, ..some ok worpdlay , but didnt feel this that much , ..keep writin , ..= )

And follow rules, ..3 names/links to open mics u replyed on , else this will be deleted..
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Last edited by Edicius : 12-02-03 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 12-02-03, 05:36 PM   #5
Jo-JO
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thanx for the responses I thought that this pz needed to be written even though it wasn't the best i'm tired of hate ya herd and people makin stupid ass jokes about race no matter who they talkin about pz and luv
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Let God speak for the underground Psalm 49 16-17
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich when the splendor of his house increases
17 For he will take no thing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him
18Though while he lived he counted himself blessed - and men praise you when you prosper-
19 He will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light of life

20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish
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