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12-06-03, 09:34 PM | #1 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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Seizure
IP: 8BEC CACE
My mind is full of traps, relapsing into moments, my minds reacting
Your character is only known, what you do in the heat of the action You don't want change, its inevitable, the info. is processing Yet you don't want to be unfamiliar to yourself, and its infecting Your state of Mind, and your brain is under all serious emotional attack If our mind is the best computer, what will happen when its crashed? We are put into a hospital, until we are left to reboot And we are colliding on another front, until I knew Maybe we aren't the crazy ones, but they just lock the sane in a cage Because people are scared of change, and fear of unknown:is unchanged Remain close to your principals, the theorem of our story is alive You build up your character for people, But you know what you are... Inside.... My pulse has started it's racing, my panic a bull's Hatred I'm seeing in one color, Wavelengths in my eye becoming naked Face it, I have lost control, spazms forcing me to get the eye I took the cover off retina's and made you finally realize Supreme surprise, my over the counter providing the extra strength Angels walking on our planets, but halo's looking different And our rope to which we are bound, in the fruits of our labor When it snaps, the next day found in the cover of our Newspaper Your scared of the change, but staying the same till yourself is confronted envying with grass in your eye, like a homeless man watching a luncheon I'll add links later, this was a keystyle and my bar structure might be fucked up. |
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12-06-03, 09:38 PM | #2 | |||||||
Banned
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IP: 7876 A98E
ahh this was ok.. but i think u need to leave 3 links to 3 battles that u have posted in ... otherwise this will be deleted.. thats what the rules say...
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12-06-03, 09:42 PM | #3 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
Its 3 links to other open mics you posted in lol...
But this was pretty good i thought....made a pretty good read as well...your flow was good in here, it got off a few times i thought but nothing real big....vocab was good as well...your structure in this was nice i thought....overall this was a good piece...keep at it. |
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12-06-03, 09:45 PM | #4 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
I said I'd post links so ya need to calm your hormones.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...7440#post967440 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...7449#post967449 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...7456#post967456
__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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12-06-03, 09:49 PM | #5 | |||||||
Banned
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IP: 7876 A98E
LMAO.. we didnt see that sorry...
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12-06-03, 09:51 PM | #6 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
Which makes me wonder if you read my piece or wanted to get 3 replies to post your half assed open mics?
__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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12-06-03, 10:05 PM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: D2D1 B5AF
not too bad
didin't really need a rhyme scheme good topic and exc. vocab ............................................ .............................................. |
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12-07-03, 10:59 AM | #8 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
UP^
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12-07-03, 11:31 AM | #9 | |||||||
Drop Of Genius
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IP: AA31 8E60
It's OK. I wasn't really feelin the topic but the flow was good.
I also liked the structure, you set it out well. To improve I'd pick a different topic which more people will feel. That's my opinion anyway. Overall good drop. 7/10 |
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12-07-03, 11:37 AM | #10 | ||||
Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
I picked a difficult topic for a reason. Why would I pick a topic which everyone else does?
__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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12-07-03, 12:02 PM | #11 | |||
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IP: 7563 A813
Whatup Skiddz. This was tight. The complexity of the topic and use of vocab made it blazin. There were times when I was thrown off but liek I said, you made up for it. Keep spittin your shit man. Return the favor
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96992 |
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12-07-03, 12:56 PM | #12 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 7B47 7A87
I liked the flow and structure of your rhyme. The topic was a good one but I felt like there should have been more added to it. The beginning was tight, keep writtin!
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12-07-03, 02:02 PM | #13 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: A78B 4E05
topic was all over the place
it flowed though and u had good vocab not too bad, keep up the originality .................................................. ....... |
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