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Old 12-06-03, 09:34 PM   #1
Accelerate
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Seizure

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My mind is full of traps, relapsing into moments, my minds reacting
Your character is only known, what you do in the heat of the action
You don't want change, its inevitable, the info. is processing
Yet you don't want to be unfamiliar to yourself, and its infecting
Your state of Mind, and your brain is under all serious emotional attack
If our mind is the best computer, what will happen when its crashed?

We are put into a hospital, until we are left to reboot
And we are colliding on another front, until I knew
Maybe we aren't the crazy ones, but they just lock the sane in a cage
Because people are scared of change, and fear of unknown:is unchanged
Remain close to your principals, the theorem of our story is alive
You build up your character for people, But you know what you are...
Inside....

My pulse has started it's racing, my panic a bull's Hatred
I'm seeing in one color, Wavelengths in my eye becoming naked
Face it, I have lost control, spazms forcing me to get the eye
I took the cover off retina's and made you finally realize
Supreme surprise, my over the counter providing the extra strength
Angels walking on our planets, but halo's looking different
And our rope to which we are bound, in the fruits of our labor
When it snaps, the next day found in the cover of our Newspaper
Your scared of the change, but staying the same till yourself is confronted
envying with grass in your eye, like a homeless man watching a luncheon



I'll add links later,
this was a keystyle and my bar structure might be fucked up.
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Old 12-06-03, 09:38 PM   #2
5hifty
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ahh this was ok.. but i think u need to leave 3 links to 3 battles that u have posted in ... otherwise this will be deleted.. thats what the rules say...
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Old 12-06-03, 09:42 PM   #3
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Its 3 links to other open mics you posted in lol...

But this was pretty good i thought....made a pretty good read as well...your flow was good in here, it got off a few times i thought but nothing real big....vocab was good as well...your structure in this was nice i thought....overall this was a good piece...keep at it.
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Old 12-06-03, 09:45 PM   #4
Accelerate
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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!
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Old 12-06-03, 09:49 PM   #5
5hifty
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LMAO.. we didnt see that sorry...
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Old 12-06-03, 09:51 PM   #6
Accelerate
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Which makes me wonder if you read my piece or wanted to get 3 replies to post your half assed open mics?
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Old 12-06-03, 10:05 PM   #7
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not too bad

didin't really need a rhyme scheme

good topic and exc. vocab

............................................

..............................................
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Old 12-07-03, 10:59 AM   #8
Accelerate
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UP^
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Old 12-07-03, 11:31 AM   #9
LM
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It's OK. I wasn't really feelin the topic but the flow was good.
I also liked the structure, you set it out well.
To improve I'd pick a different topic which more people will feel.
That's my opinion anyway.
Overall good drop. 7/10
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Old 12-07-03, 11:37 AM   #10
Accelerate
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I picked a difficult topic for a reason. Why would I pick a topic which everyone else does?
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Old 12-07-03, 12:02 PM   #11
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Whatup Skiddz. This was tight. The complexity of the topic and use of vocab made it blazin. There were times when I was thrown off but liek I said, you made up for it. Keep spittin your shit man. Return the favor

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96992
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Old 12-07-03, 12:56 PM   #12
SinfiC
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I liked the flow and structure of your rhyme. The topic was a good one but I felt like there should have been more added to it. The beginning was tight, keep writtin!
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Old 12-07-03, 02:02 PM   #13
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topic was all over the place

it flowed though and u had good vocab

not too bad, keep up the originality

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