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Old 12-10-03, 05:41 PM   #1
Jo-JO
Flyweight
 
Posts: 127
Joined: Nov 2003
From: YC 17404
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
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Second Thoughts

IP: D85C 59A5

double-o seven/how my personality been shaped
southsideloco/my 1st freestyle
LA_4 Life/A Better 2morro:Never B peace

What do you do when a man loves you, and you love him to, when pride controls you
Reminded him I quit u, he told me tru luv is 2 few, my hart ill always blong 2 u
He's not luvd by my family, But we got along merrily, when I told my mother wearily,
da shit we did barely, she nvr judgd em fairly, but maybe she thot it thru mor carfuly,
Than what I ever would, more than a lover should, wit more thought than I could

CHORUS:
The roses are red, and violets more than blue
Stil rembr thingz unsed, suspicon of you untru
My thotz msled, listnd 2 rumors shoulda knew
Ur hart infestd my hed, my hart comitd to you

Ur born comedian 2 fun-e, lips taste like sweet honey, wit pockets lined wit money
One thing you always loved me, and that's very eaxy to see, always said I'm lovely
So people wonder why I let you go, Hell now I don't even know, my hart is sinkin low
Causing my soul 2 feel cold 40 blow, evrytime you ask me I say no, but I luv u so
Ez 2 c that ur da luv of my lif, sory 4 da long livd hart strife, mayb soon bcome ur wife

CHORUS:
The roses are red, and violets more than blue
Stil rembr thingz unsed, suspicon of you untru
My thotz msled, listnd 2 rumors shoulda knew
Ur hart infestd my hed, my hart comitd to you

I awake 2 a new dawn dfrent day, Im done with the mind play, forever we will stay
Refus 2 let ur hart slip away, I remain urs til enday, regardless of hardtime or payday
This is where my life waivers, when our harts mend together, this is the time I savor
Gives our lif flavor, I call it soap opera glamor, at the next chance 2 luv u ill clamor
Breath ur breath like air, The situation is quite unfair, Jus trust 4evr ill b there

CHORUS:
The roses are red, and violets more than blue
Stil rembr thingz unsed, suspicon of you untru
My thotz msled, listnd 2 rumors shoulda knew
Ur hart infestd my hed, my hart comitd to you
__________________
Let God speak for the underground Psalm 49 16-17
16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich when the splendor of his house increases
17 For he will take no thing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him
18Though while he lived he counted himself blessed - and men praise you when you prosper-
19 He will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light of life

20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish
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Old 12-10-03, 06:21 PM   #2
Menik
Word.
 
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Posts: 2,017
Joined: Aug 2003
From: Mifflinburg, PA
Status: Offline
IP: 6FDC 23CB

This was alright i thought....your structure was ok, the lines were kinda stretched out but you had the internals and multies to make it work for you though....flow was alright in this, could be a bit better i thought...chorus was alright i thought...overall alright piece...keep at it.
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