im going out of my mind my lines are coming write on time its my time to shine may my shauty bind you take that as a sign from me to you we stay crushing crews makeing move and you anit fully fit for this rap shit so go run another lap around the block kid before you clap quick

umm...... u need to lengthen your bars work on your wordplay vocab and punchlines flow was ok not really any multi's........keep it up over all 4/10

Wow

ok..

Work on your structure.. try to write your pieces more organized.. like this, maybe..

I'm dope like soap on a slope/
Can't cope with my coke on a pope.
^something along those lines..

Get more complex in your writing and thinking. Read a lot of newspapers, magazines, books, etc., and it will up your vocabulary, imagery, and make your content that much better.

Just keep writing and elevating.

start from the begining i think.....write in bars, and get a good structure going.....most importantly, find i topic you can easily relate to......then start introducing some nice multis n shit....elevate...pZ.....

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted..

But this needs some work like said before me....structure should be line on top of line, instead of paragraph like you have it there...You should make it a little longer as well, it was too short....also try adding some multies to help the flow out...but just keep elevating and keep at it.