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Old 12-10-03, 07:25 PM   #1
LA_4LYFE
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Here 2 Stay

IP: 6236 079F

Im game tight, wit a pencil i paint perfect lyrical pictures
Like popeye, i whistle an wink my eye at ebony sisters
nibble'in on de ear lobes, watch twitchin b-cause it tickles
Like Sickle-Cell, my rhymes r sick an shoot like 9 milli pistols
bitches duckin down while im bustin rounds of punz & syllables
Ill in the most,
unnoticed format, jus ask dese bitches
try 2 clap back & get ya ass smacked back into position
Ive made da transition 4rm "okay I quess" 2 da sickest
An illest, my rhymes cut through skin like circumsitions
this was jus a taste a wat MC's wuz missin
Here 2 stay
and stimulate ear drums, like a clitterous

haha
LA, ballin all night
ya know i had 2 do it
just a taste a how i swith it up
here 2 stay
haha
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Old 12-10-03, 07:40 PM   #2
Menik
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you need to leave 3 links and 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted..

but this was alright...structure in this was ok, could use some work though i think.....your vocab was alright in this....flow was ok, try adding some multies and internals to help that out though...but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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Old 12-10-03, 10:04 PM   #3
ill Explicit
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this was actually pretty cool your rhyme scheme is sloppy as fuck which at one look i didn't think this would show any skill. but lyrically you say some hot shit you just need to get it flowin a little better some internals and fat multis would add alot to your skill
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Old 12-10-03, 11:32 PM   #4
SPEC-tacular
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it was a ight piece for a newb flow was ok wordplay was ight vocab ight punches ok multis ok structure ight over all 6.6/10
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