Im game tight, wit a pencil i paint perfect lyrical pictures
Like popeye, i whistle an wink my eye at ebony sisters
nibble'in on de ear lobes, watch twitchin b-cause it tickles
Like Sickle-Cell, my rhymes r sick an shoot like 9 milli pistols
bitches duckin down while im bustin rounds of punz & syllables
Ill in the most,
unnoticed format, jus ask dese bitches
try 2 clap back & get ya ass smacked back into position
Ive made da transition 4rm "okay I quess" 2 da sickest
An illest, my rhymes cut through skin like circumsitions
this was jus a taste a wat MC's wuz missin
Here 2 stay
and stimulate ear drums, like a clitterous

haha
LA, ballin all night
ya know i had 2 do it
just a taste a how i swith it up
here 2 stay
haha

you need to leave 3 links and 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted..

but this was alright...structure in this was ok, could use some work though i think.....your vocab was alright in this....flow was ok, try adding some multies and internals to help that out though...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

this was actually pretty cool your rhyme scheme is sloppy as fuck which at one look i didn't think this would show any skill. but lyrically you say some hot shit you just need to get it flowin a little better some internals and fat multis would add alot to your skill