things are lookin up now, no longer with shame//
if frowns are the pathway to depression, well smiles my fame//
with a smile that could illuminate the darkest hell//
shes a potion numba 9, so im under a spell//
now this is just a second for me to release my feelings//
im not good at conveying exactly what my meanings'//
no i love the way that she makes me navigate to her//
show her more then love, two arms which make her secure//
now im real, bout as real as the come//
never been fony with the relationships of us//
her smiles hypnotizing, with eyes so wholesomely cold//
don't get it twisted to a bad thing, she sends chills through mysoul//
this is just a lil teaser kids there'll be more to come//
just a good feelin i go, ya know a preminition of love//


Let me know what you think POSitve or NEGitive feedback welcomed

__________________
MATCH.........GOT U



Vote @ http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=114041



you new to RB, man bet you get dissed alot//
if you was a child molest youd still get dick alot//
what is you confused cant member which team you be with//
i know you shirts old navy but your mouths on seamen//

Please if you gonna read it, leave some comments, thanks!

__________________
MATCH.........GOT U



Vote @ http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=114041



you new to RB, man bet you get dissed alot//
if you was a child molest youd still get dick alot//
what is you confused cant member which team you be with//
i know you shirts old navy but your mouths on seamen//

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed..

But this was alright...structure was ok, could be touched up a bit though i think...flow was alright, try adding some multies to this to help it out and add some internals as well...just keep elevating....overall this was alright...keep at it.

i thought htis was average,,,,the topic is starting to bore me though, reading alot of it at the minute,,,so didnt really get into it....but it flowed ok,.....add some multis andi think it would work better ....pZ...but not bad....

ok thanks for the love please holla at the battles if u got over 100 posts i wanna end it

__________________
MATCH.........GOT U



Vote @ http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=114041



you new to RB, man bet you get dissed alot//
if you was a child molest youd still get dick alot//
what is you confused cant member which team you be with//
i know you shirts old navy but your mouths on seamen//