replied to:mc-uski, double-o seven, young smiff


vanes:
straigth up

there no need 2 chat shit, coz when u do u sound bate/
when you rhyme its so trajic, thats u sound so fake/
fronting so bad coz u wanna live tha life u didnt have/
but tell me why you wanna be down, bitch u should b glad/
everyday u at school uniform and cash in yo pocket/
i was always lookin 4 a purse so i could snatch it/
yeah bitch we see you, i c u trying be down homie/
bring u back to reality, and u studying at oxford homie/
barclays bank giving thanks getting yo cheques/
behind closed doors, i know u aint recieving no def frets/
need to stop bitching stop writing, u aint proovin shit/
most writers put pen to paper, and blow, we create skits/

80Shots:
take the fucking mike outta my sister hand an burn it/
they're no pussies in here, so fuck yo tricks if they want it/
5 minutes lsd there, all i need iz a glok an ima on it/
give me that golf stick 2way, and watch me hit u wit it/
in teach u how to get rich a bitch sed ima trying be fifty/
only thing about me wich is fifty, is the keys in front 2me/
i see them wacko jacko frontin homos trying write rhymes/
like that wanna be freeway, saying he bust nines/
i dont have to diss you, i get yo baby sister to punch u/
she ageing too fast, tha bitch probably twice tha size of you/
i see you bitch, i see you trying to/
trying so hard to appeal, but nobody fucking likes you/

vanes:
now i might be a girl, but u got more pussy than me/
the first sign of bloodshed, u faint and go all crazy/
yo heart stops and yo legs fuk up, you drop/
i might be short nigger, but i'll stop you ma glok/
c i dont rap about nines, there no need 2/
u probably b frontin, with that super soaka water pistol/
an even if beef came u would be the first to dash/
leavin me there, ima the first to blast/

--=--------=------------
80Shots:
nigger ima feeling somefin else g, ima feeling exposing that trick who saying he gangster in his rhymes an all that shit, check it.

life life the fast way, the thug way, watever way, watever you do live life your way x2

drop a lil skit 4 this punk, i c your way
fucking hoes catching aids a dieing the hard way
yo mummaz a bitch if she had u an she was happy
i woulda threw u out the window, an hoped u died so quickly
painful?, well fuck it, i stick my dick on yo sistaz lip
piss in her mouth, then hit her wit my pool stick
all i ment to do was have a good time, but i dont know how 2
so i stick on sum jerry springer, and tel yo sister,down a lil mo boo
u know who you are dont u and this is pissing you off g
i point my nine straight at ya an have u beg 4 mercy
straight up nigga i dont give a fuck if u hate my rhymes
coz i came from the getto, bitch now watch me shine

Vanes:
we out, homies,
Longer-Surving -Donz, lsd, ha ha, piece

This was alright here i thought....kinda long but it was alright...all verses seemed structured pretty well, except vanes last one kinda shorter lines but it was still good....it flowed pretty well together i thought, stayed on point through out it mostly, kinda fell off at points for me...vocab in this was alright could be up'd though..and try adding some multies..keep at it.

it werent too long..all ya verses seemed similar,,,so kept the flow going..maybe it fell in a coup;e og plseces..but on the whole thought it was pretty decent, i would expand on the mulltis n word play though......more complexity...pZ.....

fell off in places but this was a decent drop a better read then most i see but none the less needs work and a little diversity between lyrics