Hey whast up nice very nice forum its huge.

here is a post of mine

I do what I do cuz I got no desire to lose,
Im just a Junior Student wishin for Kobe's Moves
Who's to choose, It doesnt matta if you cathloic or Jew
Gurls got dudes in Nuse's and me too, is through,move, yea Im gonna sue
I need the Flu, cuz gurlz is a hoe, she like my gonad glue,
Schools out, I wish I came with Directions, all these vixens got me disassociated like city 03 blackout, Im gettin tossed around like the tires on a nissan burnout

here is one of tupacs lines one of my favorites

"Ya just workin with the scraps you was given
And mama made miracles every Thanksgivin"

A simpler rhyme scheme but sounds so much better than mine I am not tryin to be tupac but there has to be a trick to this. thx alot. I looked at the tutorials i wanted to see what people said

Make your lines equal in syllables, and it will sound ok. Or when your reading it, leave a little breath pause at some point during the short line, but say the longer one normally. Just make sure you take equal time in saying each line.

count how many syllables each line has....they should have around the same amount, no more than like two syllables apart...

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<img src="http://www.rhymevantage.com/forum/attachment.php?s=&postid=7548">

kinda a hint of Em's style in there...

Make all your bars relatively the same length...it helps to keep the flow smooth..that wasn't all that bad, it started off nice but fell of near the end...you have good potential...just keep at itm it took me about 3-4 months to show signs of elevation, you'll get there.

FIRST OFF... TRY USING A SIMPLE RHYME SCHEME...
AND ONCE YOU'VE PERFECTED THAT, THEN MOVE UP
TO RHYMING 3 WORDS IN EACH BAR... THEN FOUR, OR
FIVE...
YOU NEED MULTIES FOR YOUR STYLE, BUT THE TRICK IS
WHERE DO YOU PLACE THEM????
THATS FOR YOU TO DECIDE... TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME,
AND GRADUALLY YOU WILL ELEVATE MORE AND MORE, TILL
YOU GOT IT...
~AshY~

count ur syllables
dat helped me

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BEST OF YJ
Holla at cha Boi
Watch Me
Eyez of a Young Nigga