http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98343

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=98598

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5451#post985451


i know the bars are long its full bars instead of single lines



it's unsensibly psychotic how sickeningly swift I slice swords severing-skulls\
stories spoken meant ta never-be-told proceed with caution ya better-be-bold\
bodies unbagged barren dead-an-they-cold caught and carried careless across the river-styx\
where I'm drippin-piss on the passin poseidon but decidin I should be fryin bigger-fish\
isn't-this hit-or-miss as the ship shifts in the mist minds are made vaguely vacant like hypnotists\
the gods give-no-gifts to the mentals of mere man so fear can sheer man's mere hands\
clear stands in the depths-of-hades are hardly heard of outside the heads-of-crazies\
the depths-amaze-me we fall deep-in-a-tunnel see souls stretched sunk as they slowly seep-in-a-funnel\
sword seeks-a-rebuttal when I'm struck in the silence as a whining-banshee goes flying-past-me\
that's the last time-he-scrathed-me caught a violent-slashing when he tried-ta-catch-me\
crashing fastly when I hit-the-gates met by medusa merging wit a head of vicious-snakes\
I'ma get this bitches-brains met her eyes with suprise "ya can't turn roc ta stone" and split-her-face\
wit' a spinnin-mace what is this-disgrace? hell is half hard as ya heard, ha! it's a deaded-fraud\
I'll better-gods then deep in the darkness the dreaded howl of a three headed-dog\
I pulled out my sword-of-sins but the dog spit slashing steel that tore-my-shins so the war-begins\
I have heart the force-that-wins I grabbed em' growlin tore-the-limbs of the terriblly tortured-twins\
scorched-their-skins with flames from the pit's-of-hell layed 'em on a cross and hit-the-nail\
give 'em one last kick-an-bail mark me for the miracle match I snap into the lodus-position\
mind loaded-for-friction knowin-this-mission was meant as my last-stand I walk up ta satan and give him a back-hand\
flames fried inside his flesh flashing his fierce attack-plan he balls his fists like missle-hits\
he whistles-spits with burnin siphillis then he takes ta the skies and I rise with my wings of icarus\
I'm sick-of-this I let loose a luminescent flash-of-lightning and quickly crash-wit-fighting\
slash-the-lining of his shield and watch the gash-igninting touch my torso in terror as I feel-the-cuts\
shit, look down and my stomach's spillin-guts I grab the eternal arrow ta lay the killin-touch\
my mind is still-a-crutch but it's slowly breaking as the bow I'm taking ta lay this shot has ta take my thought\
light the poison ta make-it-hot focus, fierce, don't faint, fight, but I shake-alot aim nailed-at-his-chest \
fling the shot but it sailed-ta-the-left my soul is slain slammed and soured by satin sorry salvation I failed-in-my-quest\

no replies?

that was pritty weird lyrics but nice

so keep it up dogg

yee im not that good just thought id tell ya

^You should have just edited your first post lol..

But this was alright i thought....structure threw me off at first until i got more into the flow of it, after that it flowed pretty good i thought...i liked the multies...you had some good vocab in this...overall this was a alright drop...keep at it.

yep

dat was hott dog good job

The rhyme scheme was ever sooooo sloppy.. Your content was also such a let down from what I expected.. The title was very intregueing.. It was good however considering you just came on RB.. Just elevate by sorting your flow and content out..