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Old 12-16-03, 08:03 AM   #1
pot1ent
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[Young- One BedTime.]

IP: C005 0B5C

I layed there in bed and folded the Sheets Back
Then started to drink some milk and Eat a Snack
The covers were covered in Postman Pat People
A White with a black cat taught me, Blacks Equal
But after the happy ending there was No Sequel
My mum told me to pick a story ' Sick and Gory '
My mum apposed, but i'd chose to Live the Glory
While she read it I knew there's no Glory to Live
It was then that ' devils halo ' Made Poorly a Kid
As soon as my mum said ' The End ' I'd Pretend
Im ' Conan ' that would always Fight Till The End
Mum said ' Go To Sleep ' She heard my Two Feet
As I boke rules, Pretended to maul my New Seat
I had no where to sit nor sleep so I Would Stand
If I was in a cartoon, Then I did have Good Plans
Comic books never gave me a honest look on life
They promised shook And then I had took it tight
Hoping tonight wouldn't end like I was Peter Pan
I felt the warmth.... As I sat near the Heater Fan
Stretching my ears, So I would be fly like Dumbo
Not that long ago I wander how the tongue rolls
Fun goes When you know that this joy was false
It had killed somone, Yet this ploys a pulse.
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Old 12-16-03, 08:20 AM   #2
pot1ent
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Old 12-17-03, 11:00 AM   #3
Born To Kill
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I will peep this in a second, my man...

In the meantime, you peep this...

Firing back at Pot1ent...

Ok...

Peeped it.

And...

Huh?

I dug the flow, thought the vocab was pretty nice.

But I missed the meaning, I think.

A kid who's been into fiction for so long he's lost touch with reality?

And who died?

Very good work, very well put together, nice imagery with the name dropping and descriptions.

But I just couldn't grasp the story, dude...
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Last edited by Born To Kill : 12-17-03 at 11:09 AM.
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