the fee binds him, he just cant have a shallow free-mind when
realizing something other than a shadow’s behind him
a young girl; this brunette whore, whom his feelings immense for
even when shes next door his hearts still beating against her’s
with the thirst of his first love, he’d go any distance for pleasure
the instant he met her he promised to be with her forever
as her red paint-brush lips were quickly making him a art
that was amazing in the start, now breaking them apart
to the point of no return, but this one geeks a cold dude
a bold mack that’ll go back whether or not hes suppose to
but shes moved on to another, a female lover.. he sees this, its clear
dripped in tears, hes hit with fears that maybe the bitch is queer
his nerves have burst, prolly wouldn’t if he had heard of her
turns into a murderer and burns them with the furniture
the rooms up in flames, the whole scenario was something lame
but stuck with blame, he feels a huge amount of fucking pain
because he loved her, but also cause of a pact he made
that no matter what, mad or fucked.. he’d treat her ass the same
with love that is, mostly hug and kiss.. plus caress through town
his first words, not meant to hurt her were “I’ll never let you down”
dishonest, he broke his promise, or so it seems at first
thinking deep gives birth to a way for him to keep his word
so amongst the fire, noone on earth could call him liar
he picks her corpse up and holds her till hes engulfed in fire

__________________

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2735449
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2735451

__________________

thanks guys. .................................................. ..........................

__________________

WTF@ her leaving him for a girl. I'da killed that fuckin bitch. Good drop tho. Make a line with him killing the bitch. It's urking me.

you know what i liked this piece, it was decent still. the imagery kept me reading this piece. there was a decent amount of emotion. feels like this would be better as an audio piece though for some reason. vocab was pretty basic though to be honest, but it ain't so much of a thing this time though. i liked the rhyme scheme in this as well. the story was cool too. I'd have burned someone if my girl lef me for a girl lol.

good piece keep it goin fam

RTF please: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=227675

~peace~

lol.. apparently you didnt read the whole thing cause he did kill her

good looks guys.

__________________

I thought it was dope as hell. No joke.

Personally, I wouldn't tell a lesbian that I'd never let her down and then die with her. I'd rather beat off a few times to some porn that she's in, but whatever floats your boat is cool. The peice was still ill.