Issues

With rappin illusionary i transport lyrics like a Canibus slash David Copperfield/
meaning i can materialize at showtime and have the cemantics to reveal tha real deal/
fo'real sick of being oppressed,feel like millenium edition version of william wallace/
artistic updates give me tha freedom to express,and recover my health to astonish/
like Neo i'm making contradictorary choices,do i let love die or save what means most/
but i see tha light in hip hop voices,and tha real world is my one unreal dark host/
post demonic child evil and sensory organs of a snake,i can locate and pinpoint my prey/
my name is Damian and i have a pet called Jake,and we wrestle you then verbally spray/
today times ticking been sleeping for years dreams of a rap career are in slow motion/
can i fast forward and pause my devotion or will tha alarm awaken me with just a notion/
i'm concoctin a potion giving rise to a new form of budding environmentally friendly emcees/
biological lyracists who use the sun to photosynthesise thus allowing people to breathe/
is it wrong that we kill,only in the eye of the beholder opinion states our worlds beliefs/
religion is colder,but one man has tha power to murder thousands and say it's releif/
mother nature is the creater of our family why do we try to destroy what she's provided/
endangered species,child death to nuclear birth our ambilcol is cut and we're divided/
monks reminded to strive to be one with the world and guide people to makin tha choice/
to respect every organism on this planet and in my misguided but correct voice rejoice/
like a flawed diamond i cannot claim to be perfect as you cannot see right through me/
but i have individual rhymes which are found deep and to cut and shape would ruin me/
people desperately seek acceptance unconsiquently welcomed by the majority to fit in/
i myself have the same tendencies as the masses but atleast i can acknowledge tha sin/
the meanin of life is a topic which is deemed godly and then stamped as miscellenious/
but my opinion on this is that delivery of humans was evolutionary and not spontanious
various radio,television,media generally are deceiving without a message or an issue/
we listen,watch,and ignorently join tha game and receive nuthin but expessionary misuse/


Don't know whether to add a chorus or just have a straight spit when i record but give me feedback on what i got.

dope drop from u man
best ive seen without a doubt
feeling the flow.uve tidied tht up well since the last one
liked the content alot really got your opinion across and expressed your views
i dunno if a hook wud help or hinder this piece i enjoyed it as it is.....but its your choice...
props

Yeah this was a good piece, well worth the read i thought your flow was pretty good, your content was good, you had good vocab, i liked this piece, overall good piece, keep dropping.

much appreciated peeps,i been out for like two weeks,now i remember why i love doin open mic's.

Peace

uppin...

....WEST...GREAT SPIT..I LUV READIN UR SHIT..SO UNPREDICTABLE...NEVER KNOW WAT HEZ GONNA SPIT BOUT...

MAKES IT VERY EXCITING 2 READ...

VOCAB...HIT GREAT HER
FLOW...CONSISTENT AND GOOD
wordplay...GREAT
wordchoice..HE KNOWZ WAT HEZ DOIN

OVERALL...ONE OF MY FAVZ...LOL..


na west....keep ur shit comin..dawg...GREAT OPEN MICZ U COME UP WIT...

ME ---U COLLABIN SOME DAY

U BETTA BELIEVE IT

P-E-A-C-E

__________________
THE RESTRICTED WUN HAS ROZE 2 CONQUER.....AGAIN!


I'M BACK!!!

no problemo dawg,thanx for tha feed.

Peace

uppin..

Damn dawg

Bein slept on , ...but is shudnt, ...

ur expression , .....was real nice, ...u expressed tru a hell of a tite vocab, ...it had a nice concept, ...plus it flowed well, ....fo real one of ur best drops, Props to u dawg ,...8,5/10.....

__________________
Fuck you

Wouldn't go that far but it was descent,Thanx dawg.

Peace

^

Sleepers.

Once Again.

ok im awake now




HAHA, I like that line, very scientific and creative. Its sorta saying the message to encourage other's to send the message. Your vocab is pretty good, but one thing I would say is that your lines are really long and have about 13 to 16 words per line, and its really hard to digest. Unless thats your style and you spit really fast.