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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-28-04, 07:23 PM
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#1
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Blow Me
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Father Figure...
IP: 7D7A FF3D
Father i want you back.. with all of you love and compassion... Or even just to see your smiling face thats all that im asking... From day one i have always looked up you with no disposition.. Now i want you back.. and for you dad your all im wishing.. I need someone in life.. to walk me thru problems and hold my hand.. Why do things have to be this way.. why did he have to take you i dont understand.. With tears streaming down my cheek i know your somewhere tellin me to be strong.. Something is wrong, and i want to tell you that i will see you in heaven, it wont be long.. overheard whispers "everything will be ok" well i dont want to hear it.. for you dad im taking my life my love.. nothing left but my spirit.. My life will be cut short young, staying away from the liqour.. so to the world i say goodbye, lifes just not right without a... Father Figure..
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My Lines Are ILL yo Last edited by ^Lucifer^ : 09-29-04 at 02:11 PM. |
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09-28-04, 11:12 PM
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#2
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A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: F21F 37B6
this isnt a poem
its more like an open mic u lacked imagery,vocab,and your piece was way to sure to actually get what this piece delivers....the emotion however was ok,but thats it you jneed to read other poems and see what it takes to write a good piece,i know your new at it but someone has to help you you feel? no hate man elevate
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Crhyme Sindicate
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09-29-04, 02:13 PM
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#3
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Blow Me
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IP: 7D7A FF3D
uppin for more feed..
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My Lines Are ILL yo |
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