RapVerse's 1-2-1 Punchline League
Mag: Week 1
Written By: Red Bull

Introduction
Week 1 of this 7 week 1-2-1 season is now over and it gave us a good luck at some opponent's skills and what to expect from some battlers over the course of the season. There were a few no shows, but that's usually suspected within the first week of a new season. We saw some good punches this week, but we also saw a lot of bad punches this week. This season is leaving $50 on the line, so battlers should start to pick it up as every battle is important in 7 week season. All in all it was a pretty successful week as all the battles got lots of votes and it was ran very smoothly.

Week 1 Battle Recap

Group A

Oneduh vs. Tony Brown

This turned out to be a semi-decent battle between the two battlers. Tony Brown began the battle by throwing the punch:

Just give it up on the sex tip, nigga you've failed about infinity times
Cuz ladies step in your radius, less often than proximity mines

Which was an alright punch, nothing really special to it, but it worked. Oneduh threw back at Brown with the punches:

Don't even post your second bar, jus save ya time
The only One to One you got a chance on is the dating site
Battlin newbies had you confused, thinkin you were the dopest
Until I got ridda TB faster than a vaccine for tuberculosis

Both punches came across understandable and well written, hitting Tony Brown quite well and leaving him to come back with something better than that himself. This is where the battle was decided as Brown shot back with the weakest punch of the match:

Been at it for a while, but still on the bottom, ya groupies lyin to ya, son
Seems they really did a number on you, too bad it couldn't be number 1

His punch didn’t really hit Oneduh hard at all and left him taking this victory easily as he defeated Tony Brown 3-0.

Who I predicted: Oneduh
Winner: Oneduh


Red Bull vs. Ken' Pho

This battle turned out to be a blow out win for Red Bull as Ken' Pho didn’t really show up strong this week. The battle started off with Red Bull dropping the punch:

No bother throwing a big one, a small hit is all I need,
'Cause the only kids hooked on 'Phonics..
.................................still gotta learn how to read.

Nothing too special, just a little name play with the end of Ken' Pho’s name flipped into a hooked on phonics punch. The battle was really determined by what 'Pho dropped next as he really didn’t come all too hard, dropping the punches:

You're a cowherd, need proof that u a stink bitch
Just readin those first 2lines....I Red Bull shit
Love to see things from your view,
But I cant get my head that far up my ass
So someday u'll find yaself...then wish ya hadn't dont that!!!

Ken’s first line being played and used on Red Bull since 2004 left people unimpressed, but even his second line was just horrible leaving voters to turn to Red Bull after he dropped the closer on the match:

^ Played and nonsence lines? Kid is far from near the mark,
So I'll kill Kenny more than the bastards from South Park.

Some South Park name play used to seal the deal. Not the greatest punch, but left voters entertained enough to leave Red Bull taking the victory 10-0.

Who I predicted: Red Bull
Winner: Red Bull


Jack vs. Flagrant

In what could have been one of the better battles this week we ended up seeing a no show victory taken by Flagrant as Jack didn’t have enough time to post some punches and signed out of the league.

Who I predicted: Jack
Winner: Flagrant


~Luciano~ vs. Cannabarz

This battle brought us another no show victory as Cannabarz ended showing up with the punches:

are you fuckin high?.., your voice is, with the face of a lumpy hide..!!
I give em' write credit, but in battles' Luci's "light-head'd" like BUMPY-RIDES..!
go ahead start spittin', your drawin's good but the art isn't'..so
so play dead' cuz only time Luci "breaks bred' is feedin the PARK PIDGEONS..!!

Nothing too special, but enough to take the battle as ~Luciano~ decided not to show.

Who I predicted: ~Luciano~
Winner: Cannabarz


Group B

Undermine vs. Daubs

This could have been a decent battle, but it ended up being another no show victory as Daubs defeated Undermine due to Undermine not showing up. Daub’s left us with the punch:

When blasting raps its blatent that he's an aggy fag
so if he's the best, il rush hour favorite like jackie chan

A humorous punch that hit quite well. Still, Undermined no showed leaving Daubs with the easy victory.

Who I predicted: Daubs
Winner: Daubs


N. Tavarez vs. Spektikul

This battle was the first up of the week as both battlers dropped quickly, first Tavarez with the punch:

The King of wack since 04'.....a tough habit to break
You half pussy, so half assing completes your character traits

Nothing special at all, just something playing off the fact that Spektikul calls himself the Half Ass King. Spektikul came back at Tav with the punches:

Rather be half-pussy than cock, Tav likes to stroke-that..
I dont even gotta shatter his spine to prove hes broke-back..
You wrote-wack, tryna 'get between' my half-assed styles of trait..
Lucky I dont use full-ass effort, Tav gets 'between' that an kid aint str8..

Spektikul was non-existent for 6 months and came out with a brokeback punch not realizing it was played. So with the brokeback punch being played and used numerous times it really lost all effect and made the punch worthless. Spektikul’s second punch wasn’t worded too well and it lost a lot of it’s power due to this. Then Tav easily sealed the deal with the punch:

kids wife doesnt mention em once I'm into the freak
your girl only tell me 'That tikuls' when I finger too deep

Awesome punch, great name play and hit Spektikul hard. This punch easily gave Tavarez the win as he defeated Spektikul 8-1.

Who I predicted: Spektikul
Winner: N. Tavarez


Nat Turner vs. Mr. Multie

This was another no show victory as Nat Turner didn’t show up against Mr. Multie. Still Mr. Multie left us with some enjoyable punches:

Here's a lesson to self, u gotta push til pressure is felt
But he's only good for Phil errs.......................
................like pirates on TV seeking professional help
How could he have boast, my point is this niggas a joke
But even without the basketball terms.......
...........................................he's never good in a post

The first punch was kind of stretched but besides that both his punches brought good concepts and brought some humor. The post punch was a little played, but besides that everything was cool.

Who I predicted: Nat Turner
Winner: Mr. Multie


Possible vs. Cocaine

This battle was so-so. Cocaine kicked it off with the punch:

Dude You Fucking Suck...
You Beating Me?? Chances Are Slim, Cuz I Stay Killing G'z..
&& Even Mathematicians Agree.. They See No Poss'Ability

This was a pretty shitty name play and nobody else seemed to be feeling it either. Possible came back at Coke with:

Let it be known you'll get shanked, and Don't try duckin' me
Cuz I can easily slice and CutCo like the knife company
Fuck with me? how? You ain't raw, we know how it go
that coke lines are fulla filler, more than stomped on blow

Two alright name plays here, the CutCo being the best one, and the best punch of the battle. Cocaine finished this match up with:

&& Fuck punches, I got roundhouses and dropkicks.. straight to your dome..
killin two birds with one stone..
Cuz when i kickbox.. i'm also ruining your home...

A played kickbox wordplay punch that I’ve seen many times. This battle could have been a lot better than it ended up. Possible took it 4-1.

Who I predicted: Possible
Winner: Possible


Group C

DaTrusHurtz vs. Ab0ve

This battle was one of the better battles this week as both members actually dropped better than shit. There was only a little bit of confusion as Ab0ve was supposed to drop second but just couldn’t wait for some reason and dropped two punches right off the bat:

Around here you're looked up to? ab0ve, you best show or I'll boot you
But with that being said ^.....I guess that I am just doing what you do
On second thought dude, I don't see anybody liking ya, it's blatant ho
Spanish speakers will know who wins when I go around saying "Yo"

The first punch was good, it made the hit, the second punch I personally didn’t feel was that hard of a punch, but others seem to enjoy it a lot. DTH fired back at Ab0ve with:

Fuck up, cuz ur just a young faggot who sucks
I mean we all know rap isn't for the ages of 8 and above
Now to elevate in rap, n' learn how to drop a hot track
I'd say see the above punch, but that'd only show how to drop wack

First punch was a pretty good play that made me laugh, and the second was the same. Two pretty solid punches from DTH gave him this battle 7-0.

Who I predicted: DaTrusHurtz
Winner: DaTrusHurtz


Roger Glocks vs. Maybe

This battle was fucked up as Possible posted for Maybe due to Maybe going out of town and it caused a little bit of confusion. Glocks also posted 3 punches and basically this battle was all over the place. The voting went smooth though as voters only went off Glock’s first too punches and nobody really gave a shit that Possible posted for Maybe because it was easy to see that Glocks still beat him. Glocks kicked it off with:

^^I see your friend sticking up for u.. but your battlin a verbal cancer
so Maybe, Possible...you winning? your other boy Nope has the answer

An alright punch aimed at him and Possible. Maybe came back at him with the two punches:

This ain't a match pussy don't be tryin' ta win
Cuz I strike glocks insides more than a firing pin
Your ideas are transparent, swallow ya dissapointment
Don't talk bullets obvious your fulla hollow points bitch

His first punch was half decent and hit alright, but his second punch was just garbage. Sounded forced and wasn’t really that well written. Glocks ended this battle with:

^It's ghostwrite for ya boy. save his his ass, your boys a loser
atleast I know I can beat possible if we face each other in the future

Great punch and owned both Maybe and Possible at the same time. Glocks took the battle 4-1.

Who I predicted: Roger Glocks
Winner: Roger Glocks


Untold vs. PicturePerfect

This battle had two decent heads matched up against each other, but yet again we had another no show victory come out of this one. PicturePerfect dropped the punch:

dudes fuckin wack.. everyones aimin at this weak bitch
and after i put untold on blast.. no gat will keep a secret

^ Meh, nothing great. PicturePerfect took the win by no show.

Who I predicted: Untold
Winner: PicturePerfect


Wordz Ahgod vs. Wyte

This was a one sided battle as Wyte dominated Wordz Ahgod in this one. Although the battle was still pretty weak. Wyte started off the battle with:

We don’t want to see your dick kid, why the fuck you smack it
^I mean your Manhood was already shown…
…When you Fellow in the 1-2 punch league bracket

Not really a good punch at all, unless I’m not seeing something. Wordz shot back with:

^???, dawg ....you the poor fag who can't afford to be high on life
'Coz unless you fucking Condoleezza, then I doubt we've ever seen wyte on rice
this kid needs to die on site, for not sticking to his topics
And I doubt you can see my dick nigga ....atleast while your fat ass girl's on top of it

Both of these punches were just whack as fuck. Not feeling either of them at all. Wyte finished off the battle feeding from Wordz last punch with:

Your money aint never going to stack high, even if u wish it
^Because you aren’t getting no dimes…
…Especially when u admitted that ur into fat bitches

This punch gave him the win, not only because it shot at Wordz but also because all you had to do was look a punch up and see Wordz had ripped himself off. Weak battle guys, step it up. Wyte won 8-0 in votes.


Who I predicted: Wordz Ahgod
Winner: Wyte

Group D

Te Ora vs. Lord of Pens

I expected a lot more out of this battle then what was received. Te Ora opened up with:

it's blasphemous.. i'll put athiest to his face, smother his mug
and Godamn use the Lords name in vain..
when i leave Pens covered in blood.

A horrible name play that led me to believe that Pens was going to walk into this battle and take it easily. He came in with:

Wow yo, we saw this hot chick comin down the strip,
Te said it was his girl, we saw double n' said huh?...you Te? Ora bitch?
It always leaves us a question lookin at ya name, what's worse is,
Right now we could all ex'it<---but you should perform that to all ur verses,

A very played first punch on Te Ora, and the second punch was just whack. For closure Te Ora threw the punch:

flipping lines from dudes you just lost to.. that shit be a disgrace
if you took enough punches from Brown.. I'll hit you Whitney to the face

Which was actually an alright punch. This punch easily took the battle for him as all three of the other punches in this match up were horrible. Te Ora took this one 8-0.

Who I predicted: Te Ora
Winner: Te Ora

Grams vs. D. Stroyer

This turned out to be an alright battle. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but keep in mind it’s still week 1. Grams started off the battle with:

I'm cold with my punches, I'll throw first while I'm coastin'
you could soak your hand in pine tar..............................
.............and still not grip a punch that'd be worth postin'

A punch that I’ve never seen before and I thought it was pretty humorous. D. Stroyer came back at him with:

The kid has nothing to do, his mind stays in 1 place.. lil mut
N’ ya life has it’s ups n’ down’s, since ur still using dial-up
The kids not understanding, I know ya weakness, ur mine lol
N’ there’s 1 way to kill this bitch forever, so I cut his phone line

His first line was pretty half assed and didn’t really hit to hard. Second line had the same problem, nothing really worthwhile to call a great punch. Grams finished off the battle with:

dude... you know you suck, so dont try and say you 'just got back'
we all know thats its a cover up for non-skilled fags thats wack

This punch was seriously whack as fuck, but it was his first punch that led voters to give him the win 4-1.

Who I predicted: D. Stroyer
Winner: Grams


Spul vs. Lampejo

Last season’s champion against an old veteran. This match up looked like it had a lot of potential until Spul no showed and signed out of the league. Lampejo still posted the punches:

Bitch i always knew you was gay, now you'll meet your end
N dude whats up with rockin a ring aroudn your neck from your boyfriend
So dude be prepared to sing out after the end of this round
N yeah i bet you can hold your own, But who cant lift 120 pounds

^ Nothing too special, but then again anything would have taken the win.

Who I predicted: Spul
Winner: Lampejo


L.I. vs. R. Christensen

This battle looked like it would be the best match up of the week as we had two great heads going at it with each other. Chrit got the punches rolling with:

Fuck this bastard, step to Chrit you'll get flattened...
Cause in any language, El Eye will get blackened

A alright name play and a cool concept. L.I. came back with the punches:

kid im sleepin on you n that line is tired. theres no rush
yeah my eyes got circles. . from seeing that concept so much
bitch is wack. wouldnt say hes my rival
but ill have Christ falling just like in the bible

Feeding off of Chrit’s first punch L.I. dropped a great counter punch. His second punch was alright, seemed like it was half assed and could have been thought out more to make a good hit on Chrit. Chrit finished off the battle with:

I fell long ago, now I'm here to leave this bitch wrecked
Cause we all know when Christ is back, it ends ur existence

A great counter on L.I.’s last punch and easily the best punch of the battle. Chrit ended up taking this one 3-1.

Who I predicted: R. Christensen
Winner: R. Christensen


Top 5 Punches

If somebody else wants to do this section just get at me. You might not agree with my top 5, but whatever. I just went off personal enjoyment.

5. Red Bull vs. Ken`Pho
^ Played and nonsence lines? Kid is far from near the mark,
So I'll kill Kenny more than the bastards from South Park.

4. L.I. vs. R. Christensen
kid im sleepin on you n that line is tired. theres no rush
yeah my eyes got circles. . from seeing that concept so much

3. DaTrusHurtz vs. Ab0ve
Fuck up, cuz ur just a young faggot who sucks
I mean we all know rap isn't for the ages of 8 and above

2. L.I. vs. R. Christensen
I fell long ago, now I'm here to leave this bitch wrecked
Cause we all know when Christ is back, it ends ur existence

1. N. Tavarez vs. Spektikul
kids wife doesnt mention em once I'm into the freak
your girl only tell me 'That tikuls' when I finger too deep


Week 2 Match Ups And Predictions

If you don’t like my predictions because they are against you, then prove me wrong and beat your opponent, it’s that simple.

Red Bull vs. Oneduh
This battle looks like it has the potential to be a good one. Hopefully both battlers show up and drop their best. I predict that Red Bull will take this one.

Cannabarz vs. Flagrant
I honestly can’t see this battle being anything special. I think that Flagrant will have this battled easily if he shows up and drops well.

Tony Brown vs. Ken' Pho
This battle has two half-decent people going head to head on each other. Should be an alright battle if they both put some thought into their punches. I got Ken' Pho taking this one though.

Serbness vs. ~Luciano~
This might be one of the closer battles this week. Serbness can drop an alright punch and so can ~Luciano~, should be a okay match. I got ~Luciano~ taking this one though.

Possible vs. N. Tavarez
This battle should be alright, but I can’t see Possible beating Tavarez. I got Tav taking this one.

Mr. Multie vs. Daubs
This should be one of the better match ups this week. I think it’s going to be a really close one, and probably the best battle of the week. I got Daubs taking this one though.

Cocaine vs. Cal
I have no clue who Cal is, but I think that if Cocaine shows up with some thought out punches he’ll be able to beat him. I got Cocaine taking this one.

Undermine vs. Spektikul
Spektikul was rusty last week and didn’t drop to his full potential. I think he’s got what it takes to beat Undermine. I got Spek taking this one.

PicturePerfect vs. Roger Glocks
If PicturePerfect drops good this can be one of the better battles this week. I still got Glocks taking this battle though.

DaTrusHurtz vs. Wyte
I don’t think that Wyte will be any match for DTH unless he unleashes something huge. I got DTH taking this one.

Maybe vs. Wordz Ahgod
I don’t know what to expect from this battle. Wordz let me down last week with some pretty lame punches, hopefully he picks up his game. Will Maybe phone in his punches again? Who knows, I personally don’t think he’ll show. I got Wordz taking this one.

Ab0ve vs. Untold
This should be an alright match. But I think that Untold will be able to edge it out if he shows up. I got Untold taking this one just slightly over Ab0ve.

Grams vs. R. Christensen
I think this will be a one sided battle for Chrit. I can’t see grams matching up to his skill. I got Chrit taking this one.

Te Ora vs. Lampejo
This battle all depends on how Lampejo shows up. He’s really unpredictable as he shows up good some weeks and shows up bad some weeks. I got Te Ora taking it this week though.

L.I. vs. D. Stroyer
If D. Stroyer shows up we could have an alright match up here. Regardless of him showing up though I got L.I. taking this one.

Coherent vs. Nefisto
I have no idea how well Coherent drops or if he’ll even show, but I got Nefisto taking this battle regardless.

Rember, if you don’t like them, prove me wrong.


Outro
The mag might not have been the most entertaining thing this time around, but it was rushed and it was my first mag ever. Anyways, if you find the mag was boring, it was probably because the week was boring. Next weeks mag should be a lot better hopefully. Week 1 wasn’t very entertaining at all, everybody really needs to step it up. Show up to your matches and drop your best. Remember there is $50 dollars at stake, so come at your opponent with your hardest. Let’s see some good punches in Week 2.

dope mag Red Bull, good shit

cool shit man, nice to see a mag shit.

word dope mag
i like your approach to the battle reviews
its very refreshing
keep it up

sick mag

good shit bro.

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Daubs MySpace

hey daubs if we both win...we're rematching for the 7th or 8th time

Nice Mag, Enjoyed Reading.

decent?

nigga, i'm better than you. look, i'm not here to boast or brag about my skills, but when a sub-par text battler tells me i'm decent, it kind'a ticks me off.

i mean, seriously, it's just ur opinion but i've proven myself to be more than a "decent" battler. pfft.. it's whatever, but i don't wanna wack textcee tellin me i'm decent when i can EASILY beat them.

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Lmfao..

Decent is a good word in Canada.

Or Spek would say half-decient = DECE!!

naw, that mag was gold, GOLD!

nicely done brothaaah

nice mag man...good looks

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3WST.

werdalicious....

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