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09-27-04, 10:38 AM | #1 | ||||
I'm BAAAAAAAAKK
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Thin Line Between Love and Hate
IP: D2B8 EE3F
I wrote this for my creative writing class
i never knew how much i liked poetry until i sat down and started writing it There's A thin line between love and hate a single man flirts with this border walking its thin strand like a graceful acrobat amusing his critics like a mid-evil jester he toys with mind...body...and soul his playground is the heart emotion and the physicallity of her brown exterior get caught??? G's up hoes down there are plenty fish in the sea.... A Married Man knows the relm of both sides like the back of his own hand uncondictional love and fruitful conversations with his soulmate r exchanged with a toddler sized similac reeking blanket and a midnight spot on a loveseat I HATE YOU....WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? she asks with tears secumming to their gravitational pull with a light splatter on the cracked nilolium but the bond of those bands held by those sacred vows thrusts her right back into his arms Where is this line drawn??? Thin line between love and hate? different girl every night its drawn when these broads get too close why bother keep as many on yo team as possible wat line??? G's Up remember It's drawn where need be... example of you give a man an inch he'll take a mile why just one pair of open legs when you can have two or three greedy for pleasure until he's crossed the rubicon and all he recieves is hate condumed by lust, heart as dry as a parched throat a man lays eyes on another pair of light browns that with one glance clenses an pardons his soul love that used to hide from him like a shy child behind its mother's skirt is found.....G's Up hoes down??? Its a shame i used to think that way hope yall feelin that if ur not clear on some things jus let me no ill be thrilled to clarify this |
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09-27-04, 01:42 PM | #2 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
wow, you really had me thinking on this one, it was great, and your own personal feelings, and it made a lot of sense, this can be taken in so many ways, but i feel you on this topic, where is the line? you know, when you start getting sick of someone or when something happens in a relationship that you dont want to deal with, its easy to give up....but i think you know the answer,,,nice job on this..keep em comin
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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09-27-04, 03:16 PM | #3 | ||||
I'm BAAAAAAAAKK
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IP: D2B8 EE3F
yea i dont kno wat ill get on this once i get it back but the assignment was seven ways of lookin at somethin
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09-29-04, 08:49 AM | #4 | ||||
I'm BAAAAAAAAKK
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IP: D2B8 EE3F
uppin for feedback!!!
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09-29-04, 05:40 PM | #5 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: CEDE 005F
This was very deep once you dig below the surface. I wish the grammer and punctuation was better though, it took away from the impact. Very nice on the imagery.
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Battles:
Laid To Rest: Wicked One, Vango, Critic, X-on, genocide (biter),40cal,
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09-30-04, 10:16 AM | #6 | ||||
I'm BAAAAAAAAKK
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IP: D2B8 EE3F
grammer???? how wuld u think i can use that better
i really dont like usin puntuation for poetry...its more like my thoughs not an essay ya no i tried to use some of it with out takin out the effects |
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