Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
07-16-08, 01:00 PM | #1 | |||||||
New to RV
|
the past is a present
IP: 21D6 AF37
how can i excell,now that all that's left of this man is a shell/
in a cell with a source and a double XL/ i'm either in trouble or jail/ well,guess i'll just take my next step thru this hell,puff n inhale/ this cancer-stick,i'm dancin with the devil himself to get wealth/ but damn i can't handle it/ with candles lit,i'm a vandal in stealth,a man by himself/ isolated,mezmorized how the flames flicker,am i wicked or well?/ only the indigent or sick can expell this type of shit/ or the lifers doin bids in the cell,writing spits for the spite of it/ knowing his wife has just bailed, and she ain't kitin no mail/ he's signin over rights to his kids... i'm anticipating better days,means to elevate i seek in several ways/ i dismiss away all the things that which bring thee to an early grave/ at 23 i ain't tryin to see no pearly gates/ thru the murky haze i envision a worthy reason for livin/ yesterday faded away,today was made for better decisions........ I"M LIVIN
__________________
~~~WhItEbOy MaGiC~~~ |
|||||||
07-16-08, 01:16 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
|
IP: 21D6 AF37
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3222787
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3222790
__________________
~~~WhItEbOy MaGiC~~~ |
|||||||
07-18-08, 03:39 PM | #3 | |||||||
New to RV
|
IP: 21D6 AF37
uppin..............
__________________
~~~WhItEbOy MaGiC~~~ |
|||||||
07-19-08, 05:35 AM | #4 | ||||||
Whys That?
|
IP: 967B 85BD
Real talk.
This would be a solid audio peice. Recorded and spat it will be nice, but as a text peice its weak. imo. Personally a text peice shoul dbe aretistic and poetic. Try writing topics n shit bro. I understand these are lyrics, and there nice lyrics, few smooth multis in it and some nice flows when rapped, but when read as a text peice it lacks so much. Check my drop in verbal emotions tourny and see what I mean by text peices have diffrent styles. Stay learning and elevating, look foward to readin what you come up with next bro. 1 |
||||||
07-19-08, 12:08 PM | #5 | |||||||
New to RV
|
IP: 21D6 AF37
thanx 4 the feedback.."means to elevate i seek in several ways"...........
__________________
~~~WhItEbOy MaGiC~~~ |
|||||||
07-20-08, 05:06 AM | #6 | ||||||
Addicted
|
IP: 24E0 3C56
honestly this was a pretty good read,decent vocab, i think you expressed what you were trying to say. good shit 7/10
__________________
...THE BADASSES ARE BACK...
_C.RHYME S.INDICATE_ "RAPVERSE'S ORIGINAL LEGACY OF EXCELLENCE" "the loudest one in the room is the weakest"- frank lucas.. |
||||||
07-20-08, 05:14 AM | #7 | |||||||
|
IP: 7954 F7D8
You elevated pretty quick since your fist drop. Keep it up man good drop. Polish it up a little and this would definitly be something worth recording.
__________________
THE TRUTH IS I'M BETTER THAN YOU |
|||||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|