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02-13-06, 07:37 PM | #1 | |||||
New to RV
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Imaginal Decrypting
IP: 09A1 9FF2
Mans pitiful fight for life makes way to phenomenal aspects
Boiling oceans cover land mass, no more abdominal projects Millenniums of survival extinct except for displacing debates Society falls victim to its greed as it mistaken degrades Aliens attack for our shit, can world wide army’s fortify humanity Pirates scavenge a planet, to lace water and crucify profanity Kids get higher than the dealers through botanical scripting Metal bands gettin banned for their outrageous satanical bitching Treaties of peace give way to attacks on planetal co-existing Einstein resurrected forges mountains of imaginal decrypting
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Catching kisses in her slime spitz, reelin back as tha rhymez switch
Wouldnt think twice to fill a sublime ditch, wit tha carcass of my divine bitch |
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02-13-06, 07:45 PM | #2 | |||||
New to RV
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IP: 09A1 9FF2
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2656073
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=221744 ight an 2 tha forum mod...... u should at least tell people first b4 u close their thread.. nothin wrong with givin em 24 to do it...
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Catching kisses in her slime spitz, reelin back as tha rhymez switch
Wouldnt think twice to fill a sublime ditch, wit tha carcass of my divine bitch |
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02-15-06, 01:15 PM | #3 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 903F 26CB
Lotta vocab in this some of it poorly worded, and just flat out ocward... with all the vocab invovled shoulda had a lot more multies in this... didn't flow as smoothly as most vocab rich open mic would... imagery was kinda lacking... this was too short for the concepts you were working with... didn't go into much detail on any aspect... very vague gloss over... I'd like to see you do a more detailed version of this... as is it's like and outline to what should be dropped... good ideas, just not the most accurate layout of them ... feel me?
RTF 7 Deadly Sinz
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\....../ \..../ \../ A.I. Spilled Inc. |
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02-15-06, 03:43 PM | #4 | |||
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IP: 687E 7A5D
Nice vocab, this was real short man, i wanted to read more to see what you can add into the content with a 60 liner. overall, nice job. your flow was steady, and the topic you chose for this was un-predictable, and i applaud you for that. good job. pz.
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Mankind is just a fable. |
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02-15-06, 04:19 PM | #5 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
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IP: 13A6 FD6E
This was alright, your concept was cool, more of a political verse. Anyway's u need to up your complex, I already knew what you was talking abotu as soon I read the 2nd line. Your imaginary is ok, need to in more detail a bit, th emotion was alright, wasn't really feeling it, I suggest to you to revise before you post. Your grammar is alright, I hd to read it a few times just to get th eidea what was you talking about, upp on that, This was a cool lil drop.
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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