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09-30-03, 03:31 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Tears of Pain ...
IP: E31C 355F
Last night i lay awake to hear you screaming, to listen to the torment of your minds eye,
Tears that you tried to stifle with your pillow, gave me a vague idea of how you felt inside. I heard you praying to the Lord to save you from this ghetto life, Even HELL sounds rosy compared to this; Crime is everywhere,watching your back the only escape you have a chance of is getting pissed. But even then you sober up in the morning. I guess i should have noticed months ago, the cuts on your arms are getting deeper every day, Holding on takes more than bombing out, why are we afraid of what other people say? Threats only get peoples backs up, violence is not the answer, but thats what my generation choose to believe. Leaving our brothers bleeding, dumb in the gutters, beating our woman, what will this behavior achieve? Babies being brought up on a battlefield, war is always in the news, Race and creed matter more than love, no wonder prisons are full, there a refuge, For the scum of the earth, us humans, destroying everything beautiful we lay our hands on, This world must have been perfect once, in days long past, and will be when were gone. I still hear the sound of you weeping, in the room next to mine down the hall, And many may take their own lives for this shit..but i will only come when death calls. REPLY PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE???? Last edited by Liba Dee : 09-30-03 at 05:17 PM. |
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10-01-03, 01:02 PM | #2 | |||||||
BANNED
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IP: 7AA4 D75E
Even HELL sounds rosy compared to this;
you had a nice vibe going till you through ROSY in i would have used a more efficient word like: pleasant, wonderful something i dunno it just through me off lol the cuts on your arms are getting deeper every day ^ that was nice sad and true and that line has been written so many time sin so many poems but you still get so much depth outta it it was a nice peice libba dee the death calls line was a great outro |
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10-01-03, 01:16 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: E31C 355F
hey thanx! means alot 2 me th@ you replied. Peeps keep postin on this 1
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10-01-03, 04:41 PM | #4 | |||||||
Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 4427 B15C
iight
your intro was a good one it caught my attention and it kept me here, the whole poem was full of pure hard emotion that ate me inside i could see you pouring your heart into this, and feel pain others were feeling. Holding on takes more than bombing out, why are we afraid of what other people say? ^^ good question, why do we care? why do most of us only remember the rude remarks made towards/about us and not the good hearted comment that some one gave us?? but the part that i adored the most was your very last line, there was no better way than that to end your piece ~Tera~ DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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10-01-03, 04:54 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: E31C 355F
hey thanx for the feed, i know i can always rely on you filed to check my work, Keep POSTIN
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