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02-10-04, 06:02 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Sky
IP: EB45 9824
Whisps of wind, crisp and thin,
leave the raindrops glistening, picturing, clouds light and soft, left my Words up to Microsoft, a 1000 atoms, boundless matter, vaporous sky like rings of saturn, a rainy day, its insane you say, the tears the clouds drain away, they fall upon us, all admonished, sky is clear, each fall to autumn, winter comes, hindered some, like a muddy foot in the glum, snows feathery, soft to touch, outside shoes aren't off as much, tumbling toes down rumbling snow, beneath the horizon's underglow, a tint of fear, a hint is bleared, every time an icky winter's near, afterwards, spring growing near, no more snow from toe to ear, it's missed much, the days end, spring skys, no hot sun blazing, life blooms, on our subtle earth, sky's light & grass, a mother's birth, perfect clouds, the sky was arted right, sunny days, and stars at night, whipping winds, are tripping kids, they're blowing hair and picnic lids, the sky's disposition, good or bad, it still never did a thing it shouldnt have. |
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02-10-04, 06:50 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 40D6 EBC3
Mine was better :P... Lol...
Ive never seen this before... But mine is still good ... Nice drops feebz ... Pz... |
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02-10-04, 07:20 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: EB45 9824
thanks, but mine was better
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02-10-04, 07:25 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 40D6 EBC3
Id have to disagree...
'left my Words up to Microsoft' Mentioning Microsoft in a piece about the sky doesnt exactly work does it... Mines better ... Pz... |
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02-10-04, 08:16 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: EB45 9824
? wanna bet ?
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02-10-04, 08:35 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: E9F8 FA86
This was a nice piece. I liked the structure becaouse it was very easy to keep on track with the piece. You had good vocab which was used enough not to confuse. I do read a lot of your posts and what can i say another good piece... props
take a look at this if you can: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113485 |
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