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10-27-03, 03:32 PM | #1 | ||||||
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just lyrics
IP: 3CAA FAA2
some niggas turn beef into a never ending cycle/
fronting to there mans/ like when they get mad/ they turn physco/ but never been off that nitro/ or seen body bags recycled/ thats how ill my life go/ always been fuck hoes/ bitch niggas die slow/ and eyes low/ take a walk with me/ and see how deep my mind go/ i know/ the wise rule the weak/ but the blind rules the streets/ pull the nine when they speak/ through they spine to they feet/ penalized for they speech/ full of lies and deciete/ Last edited by Blaze 1 : 10-28-03 at 06:16 PM. |
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10-27-03, 05:29 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 3CAA FAA2
let me know what u think of this small lyricall dose on a scale from 1-10 ten being the highest and also some constructive critism
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10-27-03, 08:06 PM | #3 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 4C49 64C6
i have to say this was wak, it was just off, the flow everything, it just seemed too formed, like clumps of words slung together with the odd filler..........firstly i would start writin with a structure that 's the same all the way thru, so you can get a good flow goin and build from there.......peace!
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10-28-03, 10:07 AM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 3CAA FAA2
thanx for your constructive critism but im writing hip-hop for the streets NOT poetry
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10-28-03, 12:00 PM | #5 | |||||||
1E
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IP: E9C6 6CF8
aight man, i was only giving you my opinion, no need to get bitchy!.....................
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10-28-03, 12:37 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: CC07 EC19
ok, that was pretty nice but re-write this as :
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx// xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx// xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx// write in this formot^^^^^its easier on the eye, and it will make your shit flow much better. |
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10-28-03, 05:47 PM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: 3CAA FAA2
i took some advice and wrote my flow in a different structure to be more understood holla back with some more feedback
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10-28-03, 05:56 PM | #8 | |||
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IP: C1DA C961
srry but this was whack
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