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Old 12-08-03, 10:06 PM   #1
QUEEN POET
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Talking Sup Everyone

IP: A6EC C12C

SUP EVERYONE NEW TO THESE BOARD AND I'M NOT MUCH FOR
TALKING SO CHECK MY WORK AND TELL ME WHAT U THINK



Ebonics at da Crib only time Da Gu “Slang~Indo”… Battle Record?
Be like Miami’s Tight-End how I keep ya “Wins-low”//
Want Games? Givein more “Blows” then old Nintendo’s… my-Flow
leave Gu See-in “Pain” like starin out da Window//
Lookin more “Over the Top” den Pole Vaults, Gu gotta Catch
Passes from Peyton Manning to say he’s “Ran-wit-Colts”//
Gu get “Shut Down” now Twice wit Delete+Ctrl+Alt, once I
Assualt… he'll be “Down for da Count” like Vampire Cults//
At ya Apex you still couldn’t Break-Necks… One on One wit Da
One? Ill “Drop~I” like a Cyclops Starin at Fake Breast//
Numb the Fealing in yo Head the way I “Lay-Text”… Fag needs a
Condom over his Phone to practice Safe Sex//
Tarrin da Arm off a Junkie Gu still not a “Track-Ripper”... I pull
Back-Triggers to "Clap dat Ass" like Black-Strippers//
Attack Sicker to toss ya Quicker den Mad Skippers, Want at my
Brain? “Fuck wit Me” it Burn “Goin Down” like Jack Liquors//
What’s Gu Shootin? Pointin Blanks…Leave Gu “Dieing Slowly” like
a Turtle Walkin da Plank//
Like a Soldier Trudgin through Shit how he try to “Get Rank”...
Teach Me a Lesson? I “Shoot-n School” like a Fish “Tank”//
You From the Hood? I “Run the Streets” Like Rocky… Spits could
be an “Absolute Zero” & U still cant “Drop~Me”//
I be getting more “Records” then a Disc Jocky…Stand out
Punches? i got CAPITALS on U like Washington Hocky//
U Broke the Board like Fatties tryin to Dive, I got D Nervous, be
like Bee’s Escaping Prison how he “Break Out in Hives”//
I got Mags, & U is “Below the Cut” how he “Sub-Scribe”… im
known to “Ring dis Bitches Neck” like African Tribes//






HOLLA MUCH LOVE
1.Lyricalmami
2.King of theives
3.A2Z

HAVE NO CLUE IF I'M DOING IT RIGHT
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Last edited by QUEEN POET : 12-08-03 at 10:23 PM.
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Old 12-08-03, 10:10 PM   #2
Menik
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You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted...

but this was ok....your structure threw the flow off, try to shorten your lines down a bit they were stretched out, you should try to keep them shorter but around the same length...you had some good wordplay in this though, liked that...overall this was alright..keep at it.
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Old 12-08-03, 10:25 PM   #3
QUEEN POET
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THANKS IS THAT HOW U PUT THE NAMES DOWN
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Old 12-08-03, 10:32 PM   #4
lyricalmami
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yo mami you know you got the flow. over all it was nice. but yes shorten ya lines.
that means more wordplay for you if you do lol
but hit me back ok
1
__________________
Yo Lil mami on the drops.

Wins-1 TKO's-1 Loss-0

Wins- Mc Aines
Losses- ::*~No One~*::
T.K.O's-Mc Aines..........and more to come............
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Old 12-08-03, 11:44 PM   #5
SPEC-tacular
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ight fist up flow and wordplay was hot, feelin the vocab , a couple of punchlines and multi's were hot u another remy martin/lady luck comin up in the game keep it up
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Old 12-09-03, 12:12 AM   #6
-->FreeBasE<--
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the flow was a lil off, or i just didn't get it all the way

good wordplay though

good vocab , real potential

keep postin gurl.......................................
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Old 12-09-03, 12:47 AM   #7
Dil J
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good work on flow and structure
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Old 12-09-03, 12:09 PM   #8
FlowzLuCiouS
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Good shyt!!........keep it up!!
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Old 12-19-03, 04:14 PM   #9
Magnificent T
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i like ur flow and word play keep it up (",)
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