Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
11-02-05, 08:41 PM | #1 | ||||
I Chill in Asylums
|
By Myself
IP: 448F 3D8E
By Myself...
im by myself in my task dont kno how long i will last but for now i'll straight blast til the day i hit my casket layin up lookin at the sky closed eyes playin Hail Mary for my guys i will revolutionize so i can make it all eyez on me watchin me make moves so that nobody will think to try me my patience is wearin thin its about to break like a limb my mind's confused and its spinnin like rims right now im going thru pain makin it hard to write no fright but my mind is losin its sight clouded by homicidal thoughts flowin thru my veins alone on my own strain on my brain im suicidal and insane so paranoid my life is empty like desert voids annoyed by stress and anger ur in danger of being destroyed tried to avoid the impulses to kill fuck it all like im poppin pills and now im gonna be honin my skill becomin perfect and complete erasin everything thats crossin my path like im pressin delete but now im back to the streets gettin my destiny right no messin with me right im just lookin for my light to shine in and be a star and i hope i can get that far practicin every day so im writin these bars im on a paper chase like Makaveli and his outlaws eliminatin frauds now i kno this is my true cause its a toss up and its anyone's ball i gotta be a fighter a straight up G and a true motherfuckin rider willin to die for what i truely want to obtain workin forever straight thru weather like snow and rain out there makin money im only done when ur pockets are heavy levy everything i can so i can become ready to break out and become something even better makin more cheddar than ever and i'll finally be with my destiny forever |
||||
11-02-05, 08:42 PM | #2 | ||||
I Chill in Asylums
|
IP: 448F 3D8E
|
||||
11-02-05, 09:44 PM | #3 | |||||
A Life Of Chryme
|
IP: 8165 5E15
flow was a bit off, that could be caused by bad structure you have stretched and way to short lines...try to balance them out with syllables . vocab was not the best ive seen...you could enhance it as you go along in your open mic career. Your emotion could be upped as you get into detail and up ur imagery...this was a beginner-mediocore open mic honestly nothing special..but it was iight stay up homey....5.5/10
__________________
A LIFE OF CHRYME |
|||||
11-02-05, 09:55 PM | #4 | ||||
I Chill in Asylums
|
IP: 448F 3D8E
aight thanks man, uppin for more
|
||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|