first ever post and its quite shit but me feedback plz



This lyrical beat goes out to everyone on the street...
(spoken) it aint just like Tupac said
"strictly for ma niggaz"
its a shame that niggas dead

but "Life Goes On", i aint here to see how many brothers a can crap upon
why is it we cant all get along
everone askin people where they from
u give a bad answer, we lose all sense of right and wrong
boom! ones in ya dome
testifying this shit through song
should we all move away to fuckin hong kong?

yo cuz we'r all stuck on a plateau
now wotch this ice flow go,
from insane to extreme
do ya know what a mean
am i as smooth as james dean?
am a HIP HOP lyrical spittin machine
ma flow aint all jumpy like no trampoline...
now lets take this under..the water-aqautic-submarine
because underground rappers...
they never get the green
am on the scene, dont dare to intervene
are we al stuck in a violent routine?
i see more deaths than u do on the big screen
stil a teen

why do youths need to fire a gat to be seen...



Increase The Peace

decent peice. good multi use of hooks. like he subject matter, but the topic from 1 hook 2 another did seem overcluttered. not bad though for a first drop. stay up and active. peace.
joey

*nods* not bad...good topic...flow was pretty good too...very nice for a first drop...keep elevatin....