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Old 11-15-04, 07:37 PM   #1
Red Stroke
I'm Back....
 
Joined: Sep 2004
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What's Goin On In Tha World Today

IP: 93C0 D1DD

*Wakes Up,Jumps In Tha Shower*
*Gets Freshed Up And Dressed*
*Throws On My Jacket*
*Kisses My Mom Before I Leave*
*Throws My Hoody On,Walks Out Tha Door*
*Look Left,And Then Right,Walks Out*


Early Morning 6 Am Guns Already Blasting,Children Young Ager Start Asking There Perents About Sexual Actions,Parents Feel Anamasit,Terrible Reactions
What's Tha Worlds Intentions To Change Whats Happening??Nothing Really Presedent Doesnt Care,Congress Is Slacking,Nigg's On Tha Corner Getting Shot Blasted By They Own Gun,Father Mad Angry Want Revenge Cuzz That Was His Son,Mother Crying Children Dying,We're Still Trying To Make Tha World A Better Place,Judgement Getting Done By There Skin Or They Race,What's Tha Basis??We Got Racist All Over Tha United States,Nigg's Gon' To Jail,Highest Crime Rates,Poor Ppl Eating With Out Dinner Plates,While Tha Rich Living In Penisons And Swimming Pools,We Out Here On Tha Street Hustling Like Fools Just To By Some Brand New Shoes,Killing Murders Crew Killing Crews,Abusive Parents Beating There Kid Cuzz SomeThing They Did In School,And It's You Who Could Help Them But You Choose Not To,Men Beating There Wifes,Killing Them With Knifes,Taking Away Lifes,Why Is It Gun Shots Ring Like DoorBells And On EveryBlock Theres A Place To By Shells?,You Thinks It's Funny Untill Your Cought In It,At That Point How Are You Gonna Over Win It,Presedent Dont Care About Tha People,He's Just About Tha Money And HimSelf EGO!,One Day EveryThing Will Be Okay,Untill Then Be Happy You Made It All This Way...........



Yep I Know Structure Was Fuck Okay Nigg's Dont Need To Note On That
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Old 11-16-04, 01:42 AM   #2
fluidmoon
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
 
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This was great, a little hard to read because of strucure, it seemed jumbled together, but you had good vocabulary, and content, i liked the scene set up, great job on this, was feelin it..1
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