Im so serious that my angry eyes make angels cry
and when I start to rhyme I spontatiously combust inside
and my lack of pride combines with my tactless strides
and defies my family ties that Ive left behind and I apoligize
for what was said but when I go to bed with an uneven head Im better off fred flintstone
if I make a bedrock should I atone?
should I hold the phone and be like OH NO guess where I'm Gon'
Hell Im better off swell so I can rock my micky mouse ears and come equipped for show and tell
Wont fail first grade Ill just sip lemonade as a promanade across my ice capade charade
covered in shade from the palm trees that fade when I start to count the days
til the rain drenches my pretentious parade maybe its all a game
Monopoly and Im the fucking thimble!
so I'll keep it simple so as not to offend my dimples
cuz Im a shirley temple of insecurities mixed with obscurity
with a tiny twist of purity left behind from the nursery
now Im cursing these phantom ration cash-in cyclones
leavin me hangin in the balance while Im rop'n in my typo-s
like F7 spellcheck my way in to heaven
so once I get there I can correct my god for giving me sloppy seconds
she only likes me when Im rhymin that two-timin pile-drivin kinivin striving
towards diamond dyke in vikatin indecisive sirens SPIKE IT IN!
Like volleyball while naked Im rhymin private and fast break paced
as I waste time like violent violin islands Im Surrounded!
Im confounded to what the bounc’n fountain pens allow’n but that’s not the reason Im frownin
It’s the class-clown'n that im downin with a chaser full of humility
it’s the round kids who eat mcdonalds like fat calories were nobilities
it’s the social disabilities that keep me cheese standin by my lonesome
no its just me myself and I but I can’t deny I’ve grown some

Replied to:
Mentill - Nobody's Perfect
fgee - Suicide Dream
$pitacular - Sinner
Jus-10 - Short Keystyle

pretty dope drop kid
very abstract in parts
vocab etc cant be criticised and the flow was on point
liked this quite alot
some quite funny stuff and serious mixed in
liked the way you ended it too ..well executed
plenty quotables too..too many good lines to quote a favorite
i'll peep more of your shit in future
props

^thx fgee
It's tight to get a vet opinion

.....Upp'n for sum more feedback

pretty dope drop man.....was kinda hard to understand at some parts but then again it made it seem too complex for the average person and makes u seem like a fucking genious (and yes that's a compliment)...

ur rhymes was pretty tite and so was the flow...this would be nice on audio if u could add a hook n shit in it...

overall dope drop keep it up

__________________
<center> I.J.L</center>

^gracias
I spit shit offline all the time
but I dont have a mic or nothing to record with really
as soon as I get me sum moneys, I'll look into that

Dope cuz. Enjoyed the read. Flow got a little choppy on the longer lines, but I overlooked it. Had alotta quotables dog, too many to list. Multi's galore.. loved that. Like fgee said, humor mixed with seriousness.. that made the piece that much better.

for what was said but when I go to bed with an uneven head Im better off fred flintstone
if I make a bedrock should I atone?
^^ My personal fave bar. Dope shit.

Keep droppin.. i'll keep my eyes open for more from you.

-Formula.

**Mind droppin a reply to this: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89771 Greatly Appreciated **

__________________

upp'n

^ You Didnt KO Me In LLL YOu Fucking Bullshitter, Take That Out, Lol. .

This piece was decent, bar length kinda threw the flow, you seemed to try packing too much into too short a verse and it sacrificed the flow to do so. You had a few good concepts, they just needed better wording etc, transition needs a little work, again, nothing major, but if you ironed out the flaws you could make this ten times better.

Not a bad read though, you have potential.

Pz.

^lol at you comment bout my sig....

Its cuz you got banned as seraphe when I was up against you in LLL

its technically true, but everyone knows it's a joke

heh, Ill replace it with amends name as soon as I beat him in LLL this week